A story to sink your teeth into
Some of the stories you guys send in are often hilarious, like this story from Kitty about a weirdo, a shihtzu, Tarzan's GripĀ and a set of false teeth....
"Much like John Birmingham, I have lived with a large assortment of mentallers. One of the shining stars of that motley crew of crazies would have to be 'M'. This is his story. Well, one of them anyway... M was an older guy, seedy as hell and a real whinger. I own a spoilt shihtzu, who is, despite being spoilt, quite well behaved.The flatmate wore partial false teeth. Don't worry, I'm going somwhere with this... One day, I was watching the teev, minding my own business and in storms M. Flailing like a drunken loonie, he brandishes his falsies, which are snapped into two bits. "Your dog!" he shrieks, bansheelike - "broke my teeth!" I stared at him, bemused and with barely supressed mirth asked "He what?" "BROKE MY TEETH!!!" sez he. Unfortunately, this conjured images of the shihtzu, capering about the house with M's false choppers in his gob. "Err, righto then".
M stomped off, swearing like a sailors parrot and slammed his door. (I might add at this point, M was fond of blaming the dog for EVERYTHING. Most of which the poor maligned dog was simply not capable of doing). ANYWAY. A few hours later, I wandered into the loungeroom and there was M. Hunkered down over the coffee table 'repairing' his teeth. With TARZAN'S GRIP!! Creative (read: CHEAP) fellow that he was. Repair them he did, then popped them back in his mouth and went on his way.
A few days later, he was shrieking again. It traspired that one of the 'mended' teeth had snapped and he had swallowed a goodly portion. He was full of plans to retrieve said bit of tooth (in the interests of good taste, I shall leave his methods of doing so to your imagination) which thankfully, he never executed. Fortunately, his tenure was shortlived. We exchanged him for a brand new crazy. "
Sounds like he got what he deserved, yeah? hehe
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