Weird Flatmate

As a young, poor student I know I was more than a little naive about a lot in life, so I can totally relate to Lauren's story about her fantasy college living arrangements.....that went horribly, horribly wrong....

"I changed colleges my third year and moved to Arizona where I didn't know anyone. I wanted to live in a nice, luxury condo development and found one that was like club med for drunk, half naked college students. Perfect I thought. Only catch was they only had openings if you were willing to move in with someone who already lived there because of availability. I agreed to move in with what seemed to be a nice enough girl from Beverley Hills. She of course turned out to be a complete disaster. Beyond that she was flat out annoying she was a complete slob. I mean like dishes for miles that never got done. She would follow me to parties and people would ask who brought the annoying fat girl and I would spend the rest of the night trying to escape from her. She eventually moved in her trashy townie bf, 3 dogs and a cat into our luxury, pet-free flat. I suppose everyone has had a roommate like this but she did something that takes the cake, or salmon in this case. One night I came home from work and before I even got my key in the door I could smell a putrid, toxic stench seeping from our place. Our front door opened into our kitchen and when I got inside the whole place smelled like a nuclear war head had crashed into a fishing boat. I literally gagged and stumbled into my bedroom which also smelled like a contaminated cannery. After finding a shirt to put over my nose I braved the kitchen once more to find that the stupid bitch had actually tried to cook. Tried being the operative word. She had gone to the store and bought a package of salmon, come home and turned the oven to 500 degrees and taken the plastic off of the salmon. She then put the salmon which was still in its blue styrofoam plastic lined tray onto a cookie sheet and left in the oven for like half an hour. It was completely corrosive with bits of salmon stuck in it and as I stood dry heaving in my kitchen shocked at what I was actually seeing my roommate walks out and says "I don't feel good, I ate some of that salmon but I don't think it cooked long enough" and then grabbed a soda and went back to her room. She actually ate it. Unfuckingbelievable." Couldn't have said it better myself Lauren. What happens to people like this girl that Lauren shared with? Do they sort their shit out or do they inflict themselves upon others until someone slaps them? Let me know what you think.Â

COMMENT: AUTHOR: kevin EMAIL: kevfly16@yahoo.com DATE: 2006-05-13 13:06:10 this story was hilarious it was the best one i heard from now on.If i had to judge from a scale to ten i would definately give this a ten. There is no doubt in my mind that this one was the best out of all of them except bad, bad, flatmate. pretty much they have the same plot and the same solution. But problems or reasonsn for y leaving.

This entry was posted on May 13, 2006 08:48 AM and is filed under Animals, Cheapskates, Food, Hygiene, Just plain weird.