Weird Flatmate

"I was working for an airline, and living by myself in a 2 bedroom unit overlooking the ocean - the rent was ridiculously cheap $160 per week. My supervisor was living with a drug addict about 200m up the road, and had decided to move out. I said I have a spare room, and for $70 a week it was his. He moved in, and all was well for about a month, until I met his girlfriend 'Jamie'. Then he got another girlfriend, this one had a kid, her name was 'Jamie' too. Other than being left to mind the kid while they had sex constantly, I had no other major issues with it. Then one day, the phone rings. 'Hi its jamie, is he home?' I said, 'hi jamie, i thought he was at the movies with you?' He had 2 girlfriend called jamie, who he was seeing at the same time. This went on for a few weeks until both of them found out, and one of them was pregnant to him. Overnight, he dissappeared, (he had packed his car and driven off interstate). The next day, I had both 'jamies' at the door demanding to see him, who wouldnt leave until they saw his room was empty. Then when they got into his room, they started fighting! Eventually I managed to get them out of the unit, and down onto the street, where they were last seen chasing each other up the street. It was nice to be able to answer the phone once again and not have to worry about 'which jamie' it was that he didnt want to talk to. Then Rhys moved in. I had flown with rhys for about 12months, and had helped him get into a uni degree. He moved into the spare room, and all was well until he would wake me at 2am when centrelink came through so that I could drive him 100m up the road to the 24hour service station. Then I went away for a weekend, and came back to a phone call from university insisting I had cheated on an assignment. Turns out he had found the big assignment of the semester, printed it out and literally changed the name from mine to his. Fortunately he was found out - but got very upset with me when I wouldnt tell the uni that 'he' wrote it. He moved out, and fortunately I learnt my lesson about sharing with people second time around. Interestingly, I was in Cash Converters a week later, and found my collection of CDs that had mysteriously gone missing a month ago - (I was able to identify them as I had marked each one of them). Then the phone bill came through, $700! I confronted him about the CDs, and he said he needed the money to pay for his new accomodation - nice of him! As for the phone bill, well, he paid half - unfortunately it was obvious that about 90% of it was his - the smart boy had signed up to a premium subscription service?!" Again I ask how one person can attract 2 major losers to live with them? Where does the problem and therefore the solution lie? Let me know your thoughts...

Continue reading "Flatmate double life" »

Posted by davidw at 09:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Siobhan writes... "Im a harsh bitch but Im sure I wouldnt be alone in feeling that if someone abuses a communal room as badly as that they should not be allowed to use it anymore. Why should you be the one who has to go and use another toilet? Replace the toilet door handle with one that has a key lock and keep the key on your person at all times. The cost of the lock and upsetting the landlord is nothing compared to the cost to your mental health if this goes on any longer! Otherwise threaten to tell potential girlfriends of his disgusting habit etc. Its time to get mean! I hope hes paying for all the extra cleaning products you must be using!" Sarah has a great suggestion too..."OH, an idea! after you go, put gladwrap over the toilet bowl! then itll spray up at him! im sure hell stop it once you do that a few times! haha ". If that was my house though Sarah, I'd be likely to forget about it and in the middle of the night end up getting pee all over myself so maybe this one wouldn't work so well. Got an idea of your own? Let me know...

Continue reading "A couple of Wee suggestions..." »

Posted by davidw at 11:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Revenge is sweet and sometimes the only way to keep you from doing stupid things. Well things even more stupid than having revenge that is. One time I was thrown out of a room for no reason. I suspect the guy wanted to save the space (another roomie shared my fate) for his boyfriend and not pay for it. So he declared the rooms as unlimited rent. Of course I was mad like hell because that was the third time I was moving within a year with lets say less enjoyable roomies and circumstances to cope with. I had finals at school as well and only five weeks to clear the place and find something new, straight out of the roomie season, if you know what Im talking about. First of all I was about to beat the guy up, literally. I was on my way home from school, having achieved nothing, and having slept for what felt like a week, all because of him. On my way my mind told me to be clever instead of violent so I made a plan to do shitty things to his toothbrush. My mood brightened immediately and I had perhaps the most enjoyable dump in the whole world. I posted the picture recently on fugly.com: http://www.fugly.com/images/11826/angry_roommate_toothbrush.html Also I was throwing a goodbye-party that he found out about by accident five hours before it was about to blow (I had handed out leaflets in the subways, on the streets, even told a radio station), because he found the beer in the bathtub when he came home early. And I called people on their cell phones only and didnt pay the bill, and paid the rent about two months late. Told him to his face that I did though for the entirety of the time I had left there. His bf got mad as hell too, which I thought was very very hilarious. Filthy bastard." Yup - if you are gonna seek revenge, this is probably going to make you feel better. Have you ever been the victim of revenge? Perhaps you were the instigator? What went down?

Continue reading "A tale of flatmate revenge" »

Posted by davidw at 11:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I'm convinced that after more than a few flatmates over the years that I seem to attract weirdos to live with me. There was the guy who'd play opera arias at all hours of the night, another who thought it was cool to leave his leftovers in the fridge for weeks at a time, and yet another who instead of washing his clothes used to just replace them with new ones and throw the old ones out....

See what I mean about some people attracting weirdos? I now live alone cause I just know that if I try living with someone again, they'll just come out with another weird trait that will drive me nuts. Are you like this? Do you, or have you, attracted weirdos to share your house? Let me know.

Continue reading "Do you attract weirdos?" »

Posted by davidw at 12:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

See what I mean about some people attracting weirdos? I now live alone cause I just know that if I try living with someone again, they'll just come out with another weird trait that will drive me nuts. Are you like this? Do you, or have you, attracted weirdos to share your house? Let me know.

Continue reading "Do you attract weirdos?" »

Posted by davidw at 12:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

When a story comes through about a crazy flatmate, it's usually for a litany of weirdness and strange behaviour. Seems that the nutty ones are usually completely pushing the envelope of quirky habits and actions in the house. This story submitted by Sue is another charming example of a flatmate out on the edge....

"I used to live in a house share with 6 great house mates- and one complete nutter! She was a young girl from the Czech republic and when she first moved in we invited her out so we could get to know her. On that night out she was flirting with 2 men who then ended up fighting-much to her delight! She thought it was hilarious and said "I can't help it if God made me beautiful" However, that was nothing. One night she went into one of my housemate's room and showed him that she'd cut her wrists. Panic striken he tried to help her and calm her down. However, the wrist cutting became a regular occurence: about once a week.

That was as well as making herself sick after every meal and leaving it in the pan for us to see. It was bad enough that she stole my food, but puking it out 10 minutes later was not just theft but wasteful! Oh, and leaving her used sanny towels on the floor instead of putting them in the bin was another of her charming habits.

Once when I caught her red handed stealing my food I confronted her about it. Instead of apologising or offering to replace it she stood in the doorway screaming. When I ignored her she went into her room and just screamed and screamed for about 15 mins. I eventually moved out cos I got my own place but the fella who took over my room was less tolerant and got the landlord to kick her out. She's still out there somewhere in south Liverpool. Beware!"

Now doesn't she sound like someone you'd like to live with? NOT!!!!!! Thanks for the story Sue!

Continue reading "Crazy flatmate alert!" »

Posted by davidw at 07:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

"I used to live in a house share with 6 great house mates- and one complete nutter! She was a young girl from the Czech republic and when she first moved in we invited her out so we could get to know her. On that night out she was flirting with 2 men who then ended up fighting-much to her delight! She thought it was hilarious and said "I can't help it if God made me beautiful" However, that was nothing. One night she went into one of my housemate's room and showed him that she'd cut her wrists. Panic striken he tried to help her and calm her down. However, the wrist cutting became a regular occurence: about once a week. That was as well as making herself sick after every meal and leaving it in the pan for us to see. It was bad enough that she stole my food, but puking it out 10 minutes later was not just theft but wasteful! Oh, and leaving her used sanny towels on the floor instead of putting them in the bin was another of her charming habits. Once when I caught her red handed stealing my food I confronted her about it. Instead of apologising or offering to replace it she stood in the doorway screaming. When I ignored her she went into her room and just screamed and screamed for about 15 mins. I eventually moved out cos I got my own place but the fella who took over my room was less tolerant and got the landlord to kick her out. She's still out there somewhere in south Liverpool. Beware!" Now doesn't she sound like someone you'd like to live with? NOT!!!!!! Thanks for the story Sue!

Continue reading "Crazy flatmate alert!" »

Posted by davidw at 07:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Just recently I've recieved a couple of notices from people who were looking for either somewhere to live or someone to live with. I'm always amazed by how little or indeed how much information people willingly share with a complete stranger in order to ascertain whether they'd be suitable or not to live with. Isn't that just a little weird in itself?

What's the weirdest thing that you've ever been asked when you've applied to live with someone? Or the other way around? Let me know!

(Whilst this site can't directly help out those of you who are looking for somewhere to live, one of my sponsors should be able to help out if you are in the market for a new home!)

Continue reading "Share house applications" »

Posted by davidw at 07:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

What's the weirdest thing that you've ever been asked when you've applied to live with someone? Or the other way around? Let me know! (Whilst this site can't directly help out those of you who are looking for somewhere to live, one of my sponsors should be able to help out if you are in the market for a new home!)

Continue reading "Share house applications" »

Posted by davidw at 07:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've only ever shared a house with one or two other people, and I can't imagine what it wold be like living with more, like on Big Brother for example. This story that was sent in by Mel reaffirms my belief that more people equals more trouble...

"not sure if im doing this right but here goes...... I once found myself with the choice of moving back home to share a room with my ten year old sister (I was 24 at the time) or moving into a share house with a couple and 3 blokes needless to say independence prevailed. the couple consisted of a 40 something year old alcoholic woman and a twentysomething pot addicted guy constantly geting into fights about who was cheating on who and who smoked whos last ciggie and always in the lounge putting on a great show for all. the 2 guys, one a ageing hippie who was a painter with a heart of gold who was living there for the same reason as us all (small mining town limited accomadation) waitng for a place of his own so he could bring his lovely wife up to live... no dramas there... bloke 2 average looking 26 year old pretty sure of himself needless to say after an indulgent night we ended up shagging on the bathroom floor..also no dramas there these thing hapen......Peter guy no3...I'll start at the top shall I....50 year old woman hating alcoholic who only just owned half of the house so obviously he thought he made the rules no bear in mind here that this was all a very dodgy situation none of us had any form of lease and the man we considered our landlord owned the other half or the house, now no 3.. lets just call him bob was withuot a doubt the most disgusting man I have ever come across he live in a room at the back of the house with his equally disgusting dog who shared his mattress now as it was the deal was we all paid an amount to rent the room which included power and use of everthing in the house fair enough, I had a mobile phone so I wouldnt get caught in the whole I didnt make that call saga after living there for about 2 months bob comes home from his holiday to a disconnection notice for his phone being the angry horror that he is he decided to present me with a bill for 90 dollars I told him there had to be some sort of mistake as I had my own phone and didnt call anyone from his and he replies with ...this bill is for having the convenience of people being able to call you on the house phone.... now that cheap for ya and i could go on and on....... thanks for letting me share."

You're very welcome Mel, that's what we're here for. Have you got a story like Mel's that you want to share? Send it in or leave it below!

Continue reading "A share-house bulging at the seams" »

Posted by davidw at 09:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

"not sure if im doing this right but here goes...... I once found myself with the choice of moving back home to share a room with my ten year old sister (I was 24 at the time) or moving into a share house with a couple and 3 blokes needless to say independence prevailed. the couple consisted of a 40 something year old alcoholic woman and a twentysomething pot addicted guy constantly geting into fights about who was cheating on who and who smoked whos last ciggie and always in the lounge putting on a great show for all. the 2 guys, one a ageing hippie who was a painter with a heart of gold who was living there for the same reason as us all (small mining town limited accomadation) waitng for a place of his own so he could bring his lovely wife up to live... no dramas there... bloke 2 average looking 26 year old pretty sure of himself needless to say after an indulgent night we ended up shagging on the bathroom floor..also no dramas there these thing hapen......Peter guy no3...I'll start at the top shall I....50 year old woman hating alcoholic who only just owned half of the house so obviously he thought he made the rules no bear in mind here that this was all a very dodgy situation none of us had any form of lease and the man we considered our landlord owned the other half or the house, now no 3.. lets just call him bob was withuot a doubt the most disgusting man I have ever come across he live in a room at the back of the house with his equally disgusting dog who shared his mattress now as it was the deal was we all paid an amount to rent the room which included power and use of everthing in the house fair enough, I had a mobile phone so I wouldnt get caught in the whole I didnt make that call saga after living there for about 2 months bob comes home from his holiday to a disconnection notice for his phone being the angry horror that he is he decided to present me with a bill for 90 dollars I told him there had to be some sort of mistake as I had my own phone and didnt call anyone from his and he replies with ...this bill is for having the convenience of people being able to call you on the house phone.... now that cheap for ya and i could go on and on....... thanks for letting me share." You're very welcome Mel, that's what we're here for. Have you got a story like Mel's that you want to share? Send it in or leave it below!

Continue reading "A share-house bulging at the seams" »

Posted by davidw at 09:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Woohoo! I've managed to get the blog mentioned in Vogue's Australian forums. There's quite a few cool new stories floating around there too about the wonderful weirdness of flatmates....

Check it out here!

Continue reading "Flatmates back in Vogue" »

Posted by davidw at 11:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Check it out here!

Continue reading "Flatmates back in Vogue" »

Posted by davidw at 11:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I hate cleaning up after other people and so this story sent in from Nina really hit a nerve with me...

"I shared a house with this Irish bloke once. He drank copious amounts of tea (usually mine) and instead of throwing the tea bags in the bin he'd either leave them in the cup or on the kitchen bench or where ever he had his cuppa. Is anyone aware of how gross it is to have to fish out a used tea bag out of someone elses cup after its been left there a few days? sometimes Id go on strike and refuse to clean up but ended up doing so because I couldnt bear it. It was annoying too that when friends dropped over and I went to offer a cup of tea Id find all my teabags used and not replaced and no clean cups to serve them in.

One time this guy 'offered' to make me a cup of tea and went into the kitchen to do so only to come back out about a minute later and say " I would but we're out of cups" meaning that because I hadnt cleaned up after him again he couldnt bring himself to rinse a couple of tea cups as a 'favour' to me He was also always crying poor when it came to rent/bill day only to be caught drinking pints of guiness down the pub all night. We tried to throw him out but he refused to leave even though he was not on the lease contract. We ended up having to pay him to go. has anyone heard the saying 'have you ever given someone money only to never hear from them again? well it was probably worth it' "

Got an annoying trait like that or live with someone who does? Share your story with the world :)

Continue reading "Tea Bag Trauma" »

Posted by davidw at 10:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

"I shared a house with this Irish bloke once. He drank copious amounts of tea (usually mine) and instead of throwing the tea bags in the bin he'd either leave them in the cup or on the kitchen bench or where ever he had his cuppa. Is anyone aware of how gross it is to have to fish out a used tea bag out of someone elses cup after its been left there a few days? sometimes Id go on strike and refuse to clean up but ended up doing so because I couldnt bear it. It was annoying too that when friends dropped over and I went to offer a cup of tea Id find all my teabags used and not replaced and no clean cups to serve them in. One time this guy 'offered' to make me a cup of tea and went into the kitchen to do so only to come back out about a minute later and say " I would but we're out of cups" meaning that because I hadnt cleaned up after him again he couldnt bring himself to rinse a couple of tea cups as a 'favour' to me He was also always crying poor when it came to rent/bill day only to be caught drinking pints of guiness down the pub all night. We tried to throw him out but he refused to leave even though he was not on the lease contract. We ended up having to pay him to go. has anyone heard the saying 'have you ever given someone money only to never hear from them again? well it was probably worth it' " Got an annoying trait like that or live with someone who does? Share your story with the world :)

Continue reading "Tea Bag Trauma" »

Posted by davidw at 10:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've always been one to say that rules were made to be broken and it's served me pretty well over the years. But when I live with someone, there has to be a few rules to keep things ship-shape in the house but as Mel writes, sometimes rules can go too far....

"A while ago I found this ad at uni looking for a flatmate to share a unit with. Anyway after a successful interview I moved into the unit and shortly afterwards I started having problems. The various problems included: 1. I was not allowed to have the lights on in more than one room at night. It was a huge crime against humanity on the few occassions I breached this rule. 2. I was told that the tumble dryer did not work but when I later tried it, after having to remove all these little knick knacks from inside it, it worked perfectly. 3. I was told off by a message on a Post-It note that was attached to the bathroom mirror for leaving a tiny bit of water on the bathroom floor (the puddle of water would not have been bigger than a 5 cent coin). 4. I was also told off when I admitted that I had accidentally set the security alarm off for a couple of minutes during the middle of the day, as it might upset the neighbours. 5. I became suspicious that my flatmate was reading my personal papers (ie pay slips) so I deliberately put some papers in specific positions to see what would happen and later found that these papers had been moved. Well I only stayed in this unit for a few months before I decided my sanity deserved better."

Whats the strangest rule that a flatmate has imposed on you (or tried to)? Did it work or did you break it every chance you got?

Continue reading "Rules, rules, rules..." »

Posted by davidw at 10:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

"A while ago I found this ad at uni looking for a flatmate to share a unit with. Anyway after a successful interview I moved into the unit and shortly afterwards I started having problems. The various problems included: 1. I was not allowed to have the lights on in more than one room at night. It was a huge crime against humanity on the few occassions I breached this rule. 2. I was told that the tumble dryer did not work but when I later tried it, after having to remove all these little knick knacks from inside it, it worked perfectly. 3. I was told off by a message on a Post-It note that was attached to the bathroom mirror for leaving a tiny bit of water on the bathroom floor (the puddle of water would not have been bigger than a 5 cent coin). 4. I was also told off when I admitted that I had accidentally set the security alarm off for a couple of minutes during the middle of the day, as it might upset the neighbours. 5. I became suspicious that my flatmate was reading my personal papers (ie pay slips) so I deliberately put some papers in specific positions to see what would happen and later found that these papers had been moved. Well I only stayed in this unit for a few months before I decided my sanity deserved better." Whats the strangest rule that a flatmate has imposed on you (or tried to)? Did it work or did you break it every chance you got?

Continue reading "Rules, rules, rules..." »

Posted by davidw at 10:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Some of the stories you guys send in are often hilarious, like this story from Kitty about a weirdo, a shihtzu, Tarzan's Grip and a set of false teeth....

"Much like John Birmingham, I have lived with a large assortment of mentallers. One of the shining stars of that motley crew of crazies would have to be 'M'. This is his story. Well, one of them anyway... M was an older guy, seedy as hell and a real whinger. I own a spoilt shihtzu, who is, despite being spoilt, quite well behaved.

The flatmate wore partial false teeth. Don't worry, I'm going somwhere with this... One day, I was watching the teev, minding my own business and in storms M. Flailing like a drunken loonie, he brandishes his falsies, which are snapped into two bits. "Your dog!" he shrieks, bansheelike - "broke my teeth!" I stared at him, bemused and with barely supressed mirth asked "He what?" "BROKE MY TEETH!!!" sez he. Unfortunately, this conjured images of the shihtzu, capering about the house with M's false choppers in his gob. "Err, righto then".

M stomped off, swearing like a sailors parrot and slammed his door. (I might add at this point, M was fond of blaming the dog for EVERYTHING. Most of which the poor maligned dog was simply not capable of doing). ANYWAY. A few hours later, I wandered into the loungeroom and there was M. Hunkered down over the coffee table 'repairing' his teeth. With TARZAN'S GRIP!! Creative (read: CHEAP) fellow that he was. Repair them he did, then popped them back in his mouth and went on his way.

A few days later, he was shrieking again. It traspired that one of the 'mended' teeth had snapped and he had swallowed a goodly portion. He was full of plans to retrieve said bit of tooth (in the interests of good taste, I shall leave his methods of doing so to your imagination) which thankfully, he never executed. Fortunately, his tenure was shortlived. We exchanged him for a brand new crazy. "

Sounds like he got what he deserved, yeah? hehe

Continue reading "A story to sink your teeth into" »

Posted by davidw at 11:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

"Much like John Birmingham, I have lived with a large assortment of mentallers. One of the shining stars of that motley crew of crazies would have to be 'M'. This is his story. Well, one of them anyway... M was an older guy, seedy as hell and a real whinger. I own a spoilt shihtzu, who is, despite being spoilt, quite well behaved. The flatmate wore partial false teeth. Don't worry, I'm going somwhere with this... One day, I was watching the teev, minding my own business and in storms M. Flailing like a drunken loonie, he brandishes his falsies, which are snapped into two bits. "Your dog!" he shrieks, bansheelike - "broke my teeth!" I stared at him, bemused and with barely supressed mirth asked "He what?" "BROKE MY TEETH!!!" sez he. Unfortunately, this conjured images of the shihtzu, capering about the house with M's false choppers in his gob. "Err, righto then". M stomped off, swearing like a sailors parrot and slammed his door. (I might add at this point, M was fond of blaming the dog for EVERYTHING. Most of which the poor maligned dog was simply not capable of doing). ANYWAY. A few hours later, I wandered into the loungeroom and there was M. Hunkered down over the coffee table 'repairing' his teeth. With TARZAN'S GRIP!! Creative (read: CHEAP) fellow that he was. Repair them he did, then popped them back in his mouth and went on his way. A few days later, he was shrieking again. It traspired that one of the 'mended' teeth had snapped and he had swallowed a goodly portion. He was full of plans to retrieve said bit of tooth (in the interests of good taste, I shall leave his methods of doing so to your imagination) which thankfully, he never executed. Fortunately, his tenure was shortlived. We exchanged him for a brand new crazy. " Sounds like he got what he deserved, yeah? hehe

Continue reading "A story to sink your teeth into" »

Posted by davidw at 11:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Hugh sent in a request for me to ask for your comments regarding a situation that he has found himself in. "What do you do when your flatmate moves their partner in but you still have to split all the bills 50/50?"

Good question Hugh and it's something that more than a few of us have probably experienced on some level.

Hugh says that the flatmates partner moved in without him being asked if it was ok, they are eating all the food, using all the amenities of the flat but they aren't contributing to the running of the household at all.

Hardly seems fair to me, I'd ask them for some $ pronto or give the pair of them marching orders. What do you guys think?

Continue reading "When fair is not really fair at all..." »

Posted by davidw at 09:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Good question Hugh and it's something that more than a few of us have probably experienced on some level. Hugh says that the flatmates partner moved in without him being asked if it was ok, they are eating all the food, using all the amenities of the flat but they aren't contributing to the running of the household at all. Hardly seems fair to me, I'd ask them for some $ pronto or give the pair of them marching orders. What do you guys think?

Continue reading "When fair is not really fair at all..." »

Posted by davidw at 09:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

For those of you unfamilar with the term Kleptomania - it's applied to people who have strong repeated urges to steal stuff. I've lived with one Klepto and never again. Michael sent in this tragic tale about a guy called Tim who couldn't help but steal....

"so this guy we'll call tim was staying with me and my roomate for about 4 months. he was so nasty that i lost a girlfriend cause she didnt want to come over anymore. tim lived on the couch and payed no bills, burnt a hole in my blanket and couch, i actually had to put him out one night cause he was on fire. after all the bad teeth, nasty socks and fire damage, his mother was coming to pick him up. so i had to work and my real roomate did too so i left and told him to lock the door when he leaves. now tim has a history of stealing things so when i got home from work he was gone and the first thing i did was see if he stole anything. my playstation and cd's were still there but he stole all my change. i had 80 plus dollars in change and he stole the change from my roomate off his desk. the thing i want to know is ,did he think i wouldnt know who stole it? but i was just happy to see him go so i didnt persue it further, live and learn."

My big fear when moving out of somewhere or having someone move out from me was what would get stolen. I was always pretty lucky but over the years I've heard of some real horror stories. Have you got something on your mind about someone that stole from you? Let me know!Â

Continue reading "Never live with a Kleptomaniac" »

Posted by davidw at 12:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

"so this guy we'll call tim was staying with me and my roomate for about 4 months. he was so nasty that i lost a girlfriend cause she didnt want to come over anymore. tim lived on the couch and payed no bills, burnt a hole in my blanket and couch, i actually had to put him out one night cause he was on fire. after all the bad teeth, nasty socks and fire damage, his mother was coming to pick him up. so i had to work and my real roomate did too so i left and told him to lock the door when he leaves. now tim has a history of stealing things so when i got home from work he was gone and the first thing i did was see if he stole anything. my playstation and cd's were still there but he stole all my change. i had 80 plus dollars in change and he stole the change from my roomate off his desk. the thing i want to know is ,did he think i wouldnt know who stole it? but i was just happy to see him go so i didnt persue it further, live and learn." My big fear when moving out of somewhere or having someone move out from me was what would get stolen. I was always pretty lucky but over the years I've heard of some real horror stories. Have you got something on your mind about someone that stole from you? Let me know!Â

Continue reading "Never live with a Kleptomaniac" »

Posted by davidw at 12:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

As a young, poor student I know I was more than a little naive about a lot in life, so I can totally relate to Lauren's story about her fantasy college living arrangements.....that went horribly, horribly wrong....

"I changed colleges my third year and moved to Arizona where I didn't know anyone. I wanted to live in a nice, luxury condo development and found one that was like club med for drunk, half naked college students. Perfect I thought. Only catch was they only had openings if you were willing to move in with someone who already lived there because of availability. I agreed to move in with what seemed to be a nice enough girl from Beverley Hills.

She of course turned out to be a complete disaster. Beyond that she was flat out annoying she was a complete slob. I mean like dishes for miles that never got done. She would follow me to parties and people would ask who brought the annoying fat girl and I would spend the rest of the night trying to escape from her. She eventually moved in her trashy townie bf, 3 dogs and a cat into our luxury, pet-free flat. I suppose everyone has had a roommate like this but she did something that takes the cake, or salmon in this case.

One night I came home from work and before I even got my key in the door I could smell a putrid, toxic stench seeping from our place. Our front door opened into our kitchen and when I got inside the whole place smelled like a nuclear war head had crashed into a fishing boat. I literally gagged and stumbled into my bedroom which also smelled like a contaminated cannery. After finding a shirt to put over my nose I braved the kitchen once more to find that the stupid bitch had actually tried to cook. Tried being the operative word.

She had gone to the store and bought a package of salmon, come home and turned the oven to 500 degrees and taken the plastic off of the salmon. She then put the salmon which was still in its blue styrofoam plastic lined tray onto a cookie sheet and left in the oven for like half an hour. It was completely corrosive with bits of salmon stuck in it and as I stood dry heaving in my kitchen shocked at what I was actually seeing my roommate walks out and says "I don't feel good, I ate some of that salmon but I don't think it cooked long enough" and then grabbed a soda and went back to her room. She actually ate it.

Unfuckingbelievable."

Couldn't have said it better myself Lauren. What happens to people like this girl that Lauren shared with? Do they sort their shit out or do they inflict themselves upon others until someone slaps them? Let me know what you think.Â

Continue reading "Something fishy going on..." »

Posted by davidw at 08:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

"I changed colleges my third year and moved to Arizona where I didn't know anyone. I wanted to live in a nice, luxury condo development and found one that was like club med for drunk, half naked college students. Perfect I thought. Only catch was they only had openings if you were willing to move in with someone who already lived there because of availability. I agreed to move in with what seemed to be a nice enough girl from Beverley Hills. She of course turned out to be a complete disaster. Beyond that she was flat out annoying she was a complete slob. I mean like dishes for miles that never got done. She would follow me to parties and people would ask who brought the annoying fat girl and I would spend the rest of the night trying to escape from her. She eventually moved in her trashy townie bf, 3 dogs and a cat into our luxury, pet-free flat. I suppose everyone has had a roommate like this but she did something that takes the cake, or salmon in this case. One night I came home from work and before I even got my key in the door I could smell a putrid, toxic stench seeping from our place. Our front door opened into our kitchen and when I got inside the whole place smelled like a nuclear war head had crashed into a fishing boat. I literally gagged and stumbled into my bedroom which also smelled like a contaminated cannery. After finding a shirt to put over my nose I braved the kitchen once more to find that the stupid bitch had actually tried to cook. Tried being the operative word. She had gone to the store and bought a package of salmon, come home and turned the oven to 500 degrees and taken the plastic off of the salmon. She then put the salmon which was still in its blue styrofoam plastic lined tray onto a cookie sheet and left in the oven for like half an hour. It was completely corrosive with bits of salmon stuck in it and as I stood dry heaving in my kitchen shocked at what I was actually seeing my roommate walks out and says "I don't feel good, I ate some of that salmon but I don't think it cooked long enough" and then grabbed a soda and went back to her room. She actually ate it. Unfuckingbelievable." Couldn't have said it better myself Lauren. What happens to people like this girl that Lauren shared with? Do they sort their shit out or do they inflict themselves upon others until someone slaps them? Let me know what you think.Â

Continue reading "Something fishy going on..." »

Posted by davidw at 08:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Another in this current series of the World's Worst Flatmates with all the things I love to cringe at - maggots, sex and just a hint of madness!

Sandy forwarded me this horror story about a flatmate situation that she endured...

"I had a flatmate from hell. This certain person generates alot of interest when I talk about the things he has done. For starters, he was like every other 'bad flatmate' stereotype. Fat, lazy, rude and got everything handed to him on a plate. I moved in with my boyfriend last September and 'bad flatmate' had been a friend for some time. But no one really knows what a person is like until you live with them. The three of us started of okay....

He NEVER did the dishes, I mean NEVER. It got so bad, I was cleaning HIS room one day and found 3 week old chicken pieces with maggots in them. He would beat off in the bathroom and use our towels for clean up. He used to take care of the pool and chlorinate it. It was left for 4 weeks and it turned dark green.

He had a girlfriend who he would have sex on our bed while we weren't home. He made no effort to cover it up, dirty condoms on the pillows and his clothes strewn on our carpet. But when she wasn't around he would get these very young girls over. They would all willingly get drunk and he would chase them nude around the house with an army helmet on. This happened on several occassions.

He would eat ALL of our food then go shopping for tim tams and ice cream and hit us up for half the money. He borrowed 12 of our dvd's and not one came back without a scratch and 8 we never saw again. The big one: He would collect the rent off us each saturday religeously to take it to his mum (she owned the house) and we got kicked out cause we 'never payed it on time'.

Three weeks after we move out we find out from his new ex-girlfriend, he spent it on smokes, gambling and booze and then told his mum we had given him nothing. WILL you are a loser, mummy's boy, coward and a big fat lazy slob. Hope you read this cause you are the flatmate from hell! P.S. The photo is of the inside bin when he decided to let the dogs inside and then go to sleep."

Speechless!

Got a story that is worse than this one? Share it now!

Continue reading "Bad, bad flatmate!" »

Posted by davidw at 04:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Sandy forwarded me this horror story about a flatmate situation that she endured... "I had a flatmate from hell. This certain person generates alot of interest when I talk about the things he has done. For starters, he was like every other 'bad flatmate' stereotype. Fat, lazy, rude and got everything handed to him on a plate. I moved in with my boyfriend last September and 'bad flatmate' had been a friend for some time. But no one really knows what a person is like until you live with them. The three of us started of okay.... He NEVER did the dishes, I mean NEVER. It got so bad, I was cleaning HIS room one day and found 3 week old chicken pieces with maggots in them. He would beat off in the bathroom and use our towels for clean up. He used to take care of the pool and chlorinate it. It was left for 4 weeks and it turned dark green. He had a girlfriend who he would have sex on our bed while we weren't home. He made no effort to cover it up, dirty condoms on the pillows and his clothes strewn on our carpet. But when she wasn't around he would get these very young girls over. They would all willingly get drunk and he would chase them nude around the house with an army helmet on. This happened on several occassions. He would eat ALL of our food then go shopping for tim tams and ice cream and hit us up for half the money. He borrowed 12 of our dvd's and not one came back without a scratch and 8 we never saw again. The big one: He would collect the rent off us each saturday religeously to take it to his mum (she owned the house) and we got kicked out cause we 'never payed it on time'. Three weeks after we move out we find out from his new ex-girlfriend, he spent it on smokes, gambling and booze and then told his mum we had given him nothing. WILL you are a loser, mummy's boy, coward and a big fat lazy slob. Hope you read this cause you are the flatmate from hell! P.S. The photo is of the inside bin when he decided to let the dogs inside and then go to sleep." Speechless! Got a story that is worse than this one? Share it now!

Continue reading "Bad, bad flatmate!" »

Posted by davidw at 04:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

For most people, our homes are our sanctuaries. The place we go to get away from it all. So what happens when your home becomes a hell-hole, inhabited by slobs and strangers?

Michele submitted this long story that like some of the others leaves me lost for words...

"Okay. So you think you have heard it all? no way. I lived with a guy who I met through a mutual friend. I couldnt afford a flat of my own so I needed a roomate in a matter of days. He seemed nice enough & we both acknowledged that we werent attracted to the other. He was a drummer & I was an art student. That was where all the normal facts end.

After living with him about a week, he began his daily ritual of plopping his fat bottom in front of the ice box, so when I came home and walked in the door, all I saw was the door with this fat bottom sticking out from behind it and a pair of beady eyes peering over the top to see who had come in. As he shut the door, I saw the noodles of my Take Out leftovers hannging out of his mouth and his left hand reaching in the white carton to get more. NO FORK. JUST HANDS. He proceeded to attempt to offer me some which I of course refused.

He was Jewish and I was Buddhist/Vegan. So most of the time our dishes being exchanged wasnt a problem, but I came down the stairs one morning to an empty house and a full sink, riddled with some ceremonial fish that had been left there since the night before. The stench was repulsive.

When I had people over, you can forget intimacy. We lived in a three story house, of which his was the 2nd floor and mine was the top. There was no reason for him to come upstairs, yet every evening, after my shower, I would hear his plodding steps coming toward my bedroom (and the door being broken meant I couldnt close it. I yelled, "what do you want" before he barged in. He said "Oh, I didn't know you were home".

Other occasions I would be sleeping (mind you, Im 19 sleeping in next to nothing because its hot on the top floor) with or without a handsome guest, he would inevitably end up in my room staring at my bottom for some strange 10 minutes.

Oh! And he NEVER wore more than an undersized pair of shorts & tube socks! It was HYSTERICAL to me because he had this Austin Powers type patch of hair on his chest and for better lack of a word, man-boobs. The most hysterical thing you have ever seen.

What made me leave was coming home to an empty flat with the door being open. I thought I had been robbed. I tiptoed inside with my cellular phone in hand. The window had been broken. The house was messy, and I heard footsteps upstairs. I panicked and just as I was about to dial the police his best friend comes parading down the stairs in my underwear. He's smiling and dancing and I want to kill him for scaring me. Then I figure out that he hasnt been let in.

"How did you get in here?" I asked? He replied "Well since we knocked a long time and no one answered, we broke the window and just came in". I looked over by the window to see that the stereo beneath it had been broken by their landing. I packed up and left. From him to his friends it was enough."

Continue reading ""How did you get in?"" »

Posted by davidw at 01:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Michele submitted this long story that like some of the others leaves me lost for words... "Okay. So you think you have heard it all? no way. I lived with a guy who I met through a mutual friend. I couldnt afford a flat of my own so I needed a roomate in a matter of days. He seemed nice enough & we both acknowledged that we werent attracted to the other. He was a drummer & I was an art student. That was where all the normal facts end. After living with him about a week, he began his daily ritual of plopping his fat bottom in front of the ice box, so when I came home and walked in the door, all I saw was the door with this fat bottom sticking out from behind it and a pair of beady eyes peering over the top to see who had come in. As he shut the door, I saw the noodles of my Take Out leftovers hannging out of his mouth and his left hand reaching in the white carton to get more. NO FORK. JUST HANDS. He proceeded to attempt to offer me some which I of course refused. He was Jewish and I was Buddhist/Vegan. So most of the time our dishes being exchanged wasnt a problem, but I came down the stairs one morning to an empty house and a full sink, riddled with some ceremonial fish that had been left there since the night before. The stench was repulsive. When I had people over, you can forget intimacy. We lived in a three story house, of which his was the 2nd floor and mine was the top. There was no reason for him to come upstairs, yet every evening, after my shower, I would hear his plodding steps coming toward my bedroom (and the door being broken meant I couldnt close it. I yelled, "what do you want" before he barged in. He said "Oh, I didn't know you were home". Other occasions I would be sleeping (mind you, Im 19 sleeping in next to nothing because its hot on the top floor) with or without a handsome guest, he would inevitably end up in my room staring at my bottom for some strange 10 minutes. Oh! And he NEVER wore more than an undersized pair of shorts & tube socks! It was HYSTERICAL to me because he had this Austin Powers type patch of hair on his chest and for better lack of a word, man-boobs. The most hysterical thing you have ever seen. What made me leave was coming home to an empty flat with the door being open. I thought I had been robbed. I tiptoed inside with my cellular phone in hand. The window had been broken. The house was messy, and I heard footsteps upstairs. I panicked and just as I was about to dial the police his best friend comes parading down the stairs in my underwear. He's smiling and dancing and I want to kill him for scaring me. Then I figure out that he hasnt been let in. "How did you get in here?" I asked? He replied "Well since we knocked a long time and no one answered, we broke the window and just came in". I looked over by the window to see that the stereo beneath it had been broken by their landing. I packed up and left. From him to his friends it was enough."

Continue reading ""How did you get in?"" »

Posted by davidw at 01:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Some people have a knack at ending up in weird situations. Take Lloyd for example. The story you are about to read is his second submission about some of the weirdos he's lived with over the years...

"yet another story from my house of horror's. i'm big into music and locally we've got a shit hot venue the pop factory. any way i went with my bro to see a band, only a local crew of muppets. the gig went well an we went back to our local for an apre pint till the wee small hours, getting up for work the following morning i hear. "theres a fucking punk band asleep on my fucking floor" in a dase i left for work. to my suprise the band were fuckin still in my house and with very little intention of moving back out. apparently chris a paying housemate invited them to stay for a couple months!!!!

needless to say in week me an too other housemates threatend to murder this band in thier sleep if they didn't leave. (i know it's drastic but rehersing 24 hrs a day when i'm watching the footie, sleeping, working an we're talking stadium amps in a terraced house.) as a result we got rid of our teenage infestation but the cunts took all the interior doors with them, but thats another story for another time stay casual guys and remember. bands don't deserve charity if they suck LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!"

Continue reading "The House Band" »

Posted by davidw at 01:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

"yet another story from my house of horror's. i'm big into music and locally we've got a shit hot venue the pop factory. any way i went with my bro to see a band, only a local crew of muppets. the gig went well an we went back to our local for an apre pint till the wee small hours, getting up for work the following morning i hear. "theres a fucking punk band asleep on my fucking floor" in a dase i left for work. to my suprise the band were fuckin still in my house and with very little intention of moving back out. apparently chris a paying housemate invited them to stay for a couple months!!!! needless to say in week me an too other housemates threatend to murder this band in thier sleep if they didn't leave. (i know it's drastic but rehersing 24 hrs a day when i'm watching the footie, sleeping, working an we're talking stadium amps in a terraced house.) as a result we got rid of our teenage infestation but the cunts took all the interior doors with them, but thats another story for another time stay casual guys and remember. bands don't deserve charity if they suck LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!"

Continue reading "The House Band" »

Posted by davidw at 01:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Some of the stories you guys have sent in to me have kept me up half the night because they show the very worst of flatmate behaviour. Like this one from Adam that even I don't even know where to start with...

"I found Linda through an ad in the local paper. Coincidence was Linda had the same name as my girlfriend and her boyfriends name was the same as mine. She was a very good looking young woman, very presentable. She did shiftwork, so I rarely saw her.

However I knew when she had been home as the kitchen was always left in a mess..dirty dishes, milk left out, food scraps left on the benchtops, etc; Then I started answering the phone to people asking for her boyfriend (remember he had the same name as me so sometimes confusion reigned).

I had decided to kick her out after a few weeks and planned to tell her next time I saw her. It was the following Saturday we caught up. I came home to find them half naked,exploring each other and totally pissed on the loungeroom floor. They got drunk from the scotch they had found in my room! Packed and gone by lunchtime the next day.

After she left I checked over her room. Besides the usual rubbish one leaves behind in a hurry, I found dishes and pots with mouldy food in the wardrobe and drawers, takeaway boxes with chicken scraps, used condoms and the worst of all used tampons under her bed, a fresh one obviously left that morning! Puke!

What astounded me the most was that Linda was a nurse! A week later she had the cheek to ask for her bond back. After bills, her boyfriends interstate phone calls, a bottle of scotch and my cleaning fees all she got back was a $1.80 from $250.00. I didn't know she had such a foul mouth until that day."

Any thoughts on this one readers?

Continue reading "Some people are just foul" »

Posted by davidw at 10:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

"I found Linda through an ad in the local paper. Coincidence was Linda had the same name as my girlfriend and her boyfriends name was the same as mine. She was a very good looking young woman, very presentable. She did shiftwork, so I rarely saw her. However I knew when she had been home as the kitchen was always left in a mess..dirty dishes, milk left out, food scraps left on the benchtops, etc; Then I started answering the phone to people asking for her boyfriend (remember he had the same name as me so sometimes confusion reigned). I had decided to kick her out after a few weeks and planned to tell her next time I saw her. It was the following Saturday we caught up. I came home to find them half naked,exploring each other and totally pissed on the loungeroom floor. They got drunk from the scotch they had found in my room! Packed and gone by lunchtime the next day. After she left I checked over her room. Besides the usual rubbish one leaves behind in a hurry, I found dishes and pots with mouldy food in the wardrobe and drawers, takeaway boxes with chicken scraps, used condoms and the worst of all used tampons under her bed, a fresh one obviously left that morning! Puke! What astounded me the most was that Linda was a nurse! A week later she had the cheek to ask for her bond back. After bills, her boyfriends interstate phone calls, a bottle of scotch and my cleaning fees all she got back was a $1.80 from $250.00. I didn't know she had such a foul mouth until that day." Any thoughts on this one readers?

Continue reading "Some people are just foul" »

Posted by davidw at 10:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Depending on who you live with, there could come a time that your flatmate's hobby or obsession, their latest fad even could turn your tranquil home life upside down. Just ask Ron from London who sent in this wick-edly woeful ode...

"A few years ago, while living in London I shared my flat with a guy from Australia. I’d heard stories about Australians that they can behave oddly sometimes (this is not racist!). Anyway this guy was educated and intelligent and worked in IT business. One day his contract ended and he started looking for a new employment, so suddenly he had too much free time. One evening I opened the front door and there was thick smoke all over the flat. I barely saw the kitchen door at the end of the corridor where all that smoke seemed coming from. I was little panicking, thought the kitchen is in fire… and where the hell are my two kittens … and why the fire alarm doesn’t go on. Also there was something weird with the smoke itself – it did smell as paraffin or candle wax. Then I got into the kitchen and – my flat mate was melting candle wax on the gas cooker, to make candles. All the work tops (even on top of the fridge) was covered with different colors of wax splashes and candle making equipment. Well, I’m artistic myself but this was way too much. I was then quite mad on him; later on we spoke about his candle making and, (silly me) I let him to continue if he keeps the kitchen clean and finishes his experiments by the time I arrive. On fifth day – I think he’d an accident with boiling wax, so whole cooker top was covered with it and he had gone to work interview. Well, it took me about one and half hours to clean up this mess and when he got home I just said: no more candle wax! Guess what, he actually continued processing candles, but secretly, at the time I was off. This month’s gas bill was also nice surprise.

Have you had your home turmed into a factory, a production plant or a commercial type of operation? Let me know and the weirder the better!

Continue reading "The Candle Factory" »

Posted by davidw at 10:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

"A few years ago, while living in London I shared my flat with a guy from Australia. I’d heard stories about Australians that they can behave oddly sometimes (this is not racist!). Anyway this guy was educated and intelligent and worked in IT business. One day his contract ended and he started looking for a new employment, so suddenly he had too much free time. One evening I opened the front door and there was thick smoke all over the flat. I barely saw the kitchen door at the end of the corridor where all that smoke seemed coming from. I was little panicking, thought the kitchen is in fire… and where the hell are my two kittens … and why the fire alarm doesn’t go on. Also there was something weird with the smoke itself – it did smell as paraffin or candle wax. Then I got into the kitchen and – my flat mate was melting candle wax on the gas cooker, to make candles. All the work tops (even on top of the fridge) was covered with different colors of wax splashes and candle making equipment. Well, I’m artistic myself but this was way too much. I was then quite mad on him; later on we spoke about his candle making and, (silly me) I let him to continue if he keeps the kitchen clean and finishes his experiments by the time I arrive. On fifth day – I think he’d an accident with boiling wax, so whole cooker top was covered with it and he had gone to work interview. Well, it took me about one and half hours to clean up this mess and when he got home I just said: no more candle wax! Guess what, he actually continued processing candles, but secretly, at the time I was off. This month’s gas bill was also nice surprise. Have you had your home turmed into a factory, a production plant or a commercial type of operation? Let me know and the weirder the better!

Continue reading "The Candle Factory" »

Posted by davidw at 10:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

When you are looking for someone to live with, unless they are a good friend that you know well, how do you know that the person you've chosen to share your home with isn't a weirdo?

I've just spent an hour or so reading through Share Accommodation notices on one of my sponsors sites - realestate.com.au - and what struck me is that until you actually take the plunge and start living with someone, you can only do so much in working out if you'll get along or if they are what you are looking for in a flatmate.

One of the advertisers said she likes "quirky people" which to me is an open invitation for weirdos to apply. Others ask for those who are "easy going" to apply. Some even go so far as to specify "No weirdos or freaks please".

You can ask for references, and try and weed out the undesirables by what you ask for - personality traits, age, nationality, backgrounds etc - but is there a foolproof way of sorting out the weirdos from the cool flatmates? How do you guarantee you get a good one? Let me know what you do!

Continue reading "How do you know what you are getting?" »

Posted by davidw at 10:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I've just spent an hour or so reading through Share Accommodation notices on one of my sponsors sites - realestate.com.au - and what struck me is that until you actually take the plunge and start living with someone, you can only do so much in working out if you'll get along or if they are what you are looking for in a flatmate. One of the advertisers said she likes "quirky people" which to me is an open invitation for weirdos to apply. Others ask for those who are "easy going" to apply. Some even go so far as to specify "No weirdos or freaks please". You can ask for references, and try and weed out the undesirables by what you ask for - personality traits, age, nationality, backgrounds etc - but is there a foolproof way of sorting out the weirdos from the cool flatmates? How do you guarantee you get a good one? Let me know what you do!

Continue reading "How do you know what you are getting?" »

Posted by davidw at 10:27 PM |