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July 13, 2006

The dumb flatmate

Does it make a difference if the person you live with isn't the sharpest tool in the shed? I've never lived with a really dumb person, and after reading this submission from Buckie, I'm glad I haven't...
"My house mate is so dumb he doesnt know how turn an oven on or change a light bulb. He never opens his blinds or window and his room stinks like mould its really embarrassing when he leaves the door open and thr smell goes through the whole apartment." Hey Buckie, have you tried suggesting to him that opening his windows will air out his room? Maybe he has a phobia of draughts or breezes? Let me know what you think...

Continue reading "The dumb flatmate" »

July 10, 2006

Where there's smoke....

There's usually a fire of some sort. Or someone who won't quit smoking. Jill sent me this smokin' story about one of her weird flatmate experiences...
"We once had a flatmate who claimed to be quiting smoking & then proceeded to smoke like the proverbial chimney even to the point of sitting in the doorway with a fag, the smoke wafting into the flat & with overflowing butt containers on the verandah at our communal table often leaving lit ciggies burning which would then get caught by the wind leaving burn holes on the tablecloth. Also whenever we were in the lounge at the same time... great, loud sighs would come from the flatmate. Their best performance was when they claimed to have passed out in the loo while spewing in the toilet putting a gash in their head & wanted us to look at the bloody wound & then wouldn't put ice on it or clean up the wound. We later found out said roomie was known by others to be a bit of a nutcase. Has anyone out there ever wanted to set up a site where those sicko roomies could be reported in a non-litiguous manner so we wouldn't get stuck sharing with them 'til they could be moved on? Let me know how it could be done...it would save us all a lot of pain & hassle if we could! " Great idea Jill. I've not heard of anywhere like that except here, but, if you know of a site like this already, send it through and I'll give it a plug here!

Continue reading "Where there's smoke...." »

July 07, 2006

The Phantom Poo too

One of the most popular and talked about stories I've ever posted on here involved the appearance of a poo during a party that no-one would take responsibility for. The dumper was eventually found and ridiculed, as they should be. Chuck has been good enough to send me another version of the Phantom Poo....
"A similiar thing happened to me, out for work, all 15 of us staying in one room in sleeping bags, with little room to move, at the pub the night before(yes, good job I know), and lo and behold, in the morning, dead centre middle of the room, not 5cm from and in the middle of two peoples sleeping bags is a little pile of brown caviar. Nobody owned up to it, but we had our suspicions who did the phantom poo. the funnier part was that it was definetely one of the people in that room, whoever it was didnt remember it, nobody smelled it, or saw it, till the morning. like I said, phantom poo. Oh yeah, and another time, a couple of years back, big share house with a bunch of friends, one of the guys did not take the right turn to the toilet, but the left turn to the showers. One of the guys had fun using the fire hose to try and disintegrate the offender down the drain. needless to say, he was the only one using that shower for a while." Gross! People who leave a phantom poo are messed up in the head I reckon - what do you think?

Continue reading "The Phantom Poo too" »

July 05, 2006

A couple of Wee suggestions...

Hot damn! A post I made earlier has been generating lots of comments and I've been kept busy moderating the best ones for this site. I've picked a couple though that were deserving of a post of their own that suggest a couple of different ways of fixing that pesky pee problem....
Siobhan writes... "Im a harsh bitch but Im sure I wouldnt be alone in feeling that if someone abuses a communal room as badly as that they should not be allowed to use it anymore. Why should you be the one who has to go and use another toilet? Replace the toilet door handle with one that has a key lock and keep the key on your person at all times. The cost of the lock and upsetting the landlord is nothing compared to the cost to your mental health if this goes on any longer! Otherwise threaten to tell potential girlfriends of his disgusting habit etc. Its time to get mean! I hope hes paying for all the extra cleaning products you must be using!" Sarah has a great suggestion too..."OH, an idea! after you go, put gladwrap over the toilet bowl! then itll spray up at him! im sure hell stop it once you do that a few times! haha ". If that was my house though Sarah, I'd be likely to forget about it and in the middle of the night end up getting pee all over myself so maybe this one wouldn't work so well. Got an idea of your own? Let me know...

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A tale of flatmate revenge

I love a great revenge tale and this one from Tim is among the best I've ever read. The catalyst for the story is Tim being asked to move out, and from there, it just gets nasty....
Revenge is sweet and sometimes the only way to keep you from doing stupid things. Well things even more stupid than having revenge that is. One time I was thrown out of a room for no reason. I suspect the guy wanted to save the space (another roomie shared my fate) for his boyfriend and not pay for it. So he declared the rooms as unlimited rent. Of course I was mad like hell because that was the third time I was moving within a year with lets say less enjoyable roomies and circumstances to cope with. I had finals at school as well and only five weeks to clear the place and find something new, straight out of the roomie season, if you know what Im talking about. First of all I was about to beat the guy up, literally. I was on my way home from school, having achieved nothing, and having slept for what felt like a week, all because of him. On my way my mind told me to be clever instead of violent so I made a plan to do shitty things to his toothbrush. My mood brightened immediately and I had perhaps the most enjoyable dump in the whole world. I posted the picture recently on fugly.com: http://www.fugly.com/images/11826/angry_roommate_toothbrush.html Also I was throwing a goodbye-party that he found out about by accident five hours before it was about to blow (I had handed out leaflets in the subways, on the streets, even told a radio station), because he found the beer in the bathtub when he came home early. And I called people on their cell phones only and didnt pay the bill, and paid the rent about two months late. Told him to his face that I did though for the entirety of the time I had left there. His bf got mad as hell too, which I thought was very very hilarious. Filthy bastard." Yup - if you are gonna seek revenge, this is probably going to make you feel better. Have you ever been the victim of revenge? Perhaps you were the instigator? What went down?

Continue reading "A tale of flatmate revenge" »

July 03, 2006

Crazy is as crazy does...

So often I think I might be going a little nuts but then I get a story like this one from Catherine which makes me feel like I'm more than sane!
"My crazy sophmore year roommate would eat canned salmon straight from the can. She would also make rice balls, wrap them in plastic wrap, leave them for a week and then eat it. She also got really mad at us once because we had thrown out a 5 pound bag of potatoes that had gone really bad and were stinking up the whole apartment. She thought that we had been digging through her stuff and taking her stuff. We tried to explain to her that the only reason we looked in her pantry was because we were looking for whatever it was that was so stinky. She also shared a room with a girl that was obsessed with ewan McGregor and had a cardboard cut out of Obi Wan Kanobi and my crazy roommate left a post it note saying your card board cape boy stinks. We thought she meant that it smelled bad, and it took us awhile to realize that she meant that it sucked. My Ewan McGregor obsessed roommate also made the crazy roommate was all of her clothes because they smelled like mold. I could go on, she was the weirdest person I have ever met." I know of a few celebrity obsessed folk out there. Have you ever lived with one? What were they like?

Continue reading "Crazy is as crazy does..." »

June 29, 2006

Just p*ss off!

I'm surprised that you guys haven't sent in more sordid little tales about your flatmates poor personal hygiene. But this one from Tammy had me p*ssing myself laughing at her dilemma...
"I dont know how this works, but my current male housemate somehow pisses all over the floor near the toilet, and all over the seat as well. He NEVER cleans it up and the worst thing about it is that his piss has this really bad pungent smell! Its like he hasnt been toilet trained? He barely drinks so its not a drunk thing - and Ive brought it up with him on a few occasions to which he gets defensive then walks off! Ive even managed to show him his own piss after he did his wee and still he doesnt get it?? I am sick to death of going to the toilet, having to bring the bleach with me everytime and clean it before I get down to my business! This is driving me nuts - sometimes Ill go across the road to the servo to use their toilets! I dunno what to do - can anyone offer any suggestions?" Anyone else lived with a guy who couldn't seem to aim straight and who got more on the floor than he did in the bowl? What did you do to 'fix' the behaviour? Let Tammy know by posting your comments below.

Continue reading "Just p*ss off!" »

June 26, 2006

I think you're crazy

Living abroad comes with a new set of expectations, and delivers experiences that most often times we aren't expecting to have. It can lead to all sorts of of wonderful people, or some that are completely nuts, like this story from Kellie shows...
"my australian house mate, female, whilst in the uk took so much moral offense to me cheating on my boyfriend (who, like her's, was still in australia) that she managed to not speak to me for the remaining 7 months of our stay. and we were sharing a room. and this is almost total, 90% blanking. she was crazy.
and our british house mate (we later discovered) had an over tight sphincter, he'd actually had it opperated on as a child, so that he was permanently so constipated that he would wait for us all to leave the house before taking a dump, apparently it could take hours." Like, I mean, who can't speak to the person they share a room with FOR 7 MONTHS?? That's just stupid. What do you reckon?

Continue reading "I think you're crazy" »

June 22, 2006

Is this the weirdest flatmate yet?

You guys have sent in some very strange stories to me over the past couple of months about the weird stuff your roomies get up to. I got a submission overnight with a odd tale and a desperate plea for our help...
"We also have a weird housemate who never leaves his room. It’s really starting to bother everyone cos we want to know what hes doing. Its like being in a haunted house, theres just this presence there perminantly. He dosnt have a job, never goes to uni, never goes out except to the supermarket if he REALLY needs to and only comes down to cook food then disapears up to his room to eat it. He also never does anything around the house and when we ran out of binliners and convinced him it WAS his turn to buy them, he put one in the bin and stashed the rest in his room. Everytime he comes down to feed he always gets in everyones business but never gets involved in anything the rest of us are doing. When i first moved in i invited him out everytime i went to the pub or clubbing or a party but he always said no ive got stuff to do BUT WHAT??? No one in our house has seen him go and have a shower or bath, the toilet and the sink are in seperate rooms and he never goes in to wash his hands after using the toilet (unless he washes them in the toilet after flushing) and somehow always manages to piss all over the floor and doesnt clean it up. One weekend he had this equally weird girl over and they sat in his room all weekend. The walls are paper thin and there was no music, no talking and they definatly werent shagging! If anyone has any answers or theorys PLEASE PLEASE let us know as it is driving us up the wall. Thankyou" So can you help? What do you reckon he's doing in there? Does he have some new efficient way of cleaning himself without using water? Let me know what you think?

Continue reading "Is this the weirdest flatmate yet?" »

June 20, 2006

Sneezy season

With winter hitting us here in Australia, the chances of sharing your home with someone who is affected by a cold are pretty high. If you are lucky, you might just get stuck warming up soup for your sick flatmate, but if you aren't so lucky, you might end up living with someone that Emma calls 'Germalina'!


"I live with germalina!! Blows his nose and leaves the tissues all over the carpet one day there were about 20 - in fact there are remnants of tissues all over the house - drives me mad as he is school teacher and in contact with so many germs. I am not at a neurotically tidy girl, but you know there are limitations!! Eats yoghurt and puts the spoon thats been in his mouth on the carpet, shelf, tv, etc, together with his banana skins, apple cores, etc, rank! Never makes sure the loo's flushed properly, and then puts the seat down - so there's a shock when I lift it up! Oh to have a place of my own!!"

The first golden rule of living with someone else is to clean up after yourself, don't you think? Do you live with someone who is a complete grot? Share your story with the world!

Continue reading "Sneezy season" »

Sneezy season

With winter hitting us here in Australia, the chances of sharing your home with someone who is affected by a cold are pretty high. If you are lucky, you might just get stuck warming up soup for your sick flatmate, but if you aren't so lucky, you might end up living with someone that Emma calls 'Germalina'!
"I live with germalina!! Blows his nose and leaves the tissues all over the carpet one day there were about 20 - in fact there are remnants of tissues all over the house - drives me mad as he is school teacher and in contact with so many germs. I am not at a neurotically tidy girl, but you know there are limitations!! Eats yoghurt and puts the spoon thats been in his mouth on the carpet, shelf, tv, etc, together with his banana skins, apple cores, etc, rank! Never makes sure the loo's flushed properly, and then puts the seat down - so there's a shock when I lift it up! Oh to have a place of my own!!" The first golden rule of living with someone else is to clean up after yourself, don't you think? Do you live with someone who is a complete grot? Share your story with the world!

Continue reading "Sneezy season" »

June 18, 2006

Nothing like a good wash!

Cleanliness is next to godliness my Mum used to say and if that's the case, then Craig's flatmate must be a goddess cause she has a serious washing fetish that he needs our help with...


"My housemate seems to have some sort of compulsive washing disorder. She washes her clothes every single day, a few clothes at a time rather than waiting till she has a full load. And she washes everything on the highest possible settings - hot water, deep rinse, megawash, heavy soiling etc. Now, this would be understandable if she worked in a coal mine, but she works in a curry shop. She wears clothes for about 3 hours, and then washes them, and uses a clean towel EVERY time she has a shower.

I'm afraid she's going to wear my washing machine out within a year, and I'm sick of hearing the drone of the washing machine constantly when I'm at home. I've tried to hint that maybe she doesn't need to do everything on the highest settings but seriously, how do you ask someone to do less washing?"

Any hints dearest readers? Let Craig know by leaving him a message here!

Continue reading "Nothing like a good wash!" »

Nothing like a good wash!

Cleanliness is next to godliness my Mum used to say and if that's the case, then Craig's flatmate must be a goddess cause she has a serious washing fetish that he needs our help with...
"My housemate seems to have some sort of compulsive washing disorder. She washes her clothes every single day, a few clothes at a time rather than waiting till she has a full load. And she washes everything on the highest possible settings - hot water, deep rinse, megawash, heavy soiling etc. Now, this would be understandable if she worked in a coal mine, but she works in a curry shop. She wears clothes for about 3 hours, and then washes them, and uses a clean towel EVERY time she has a shower. I'm afraid she's going to wear my washing machine out within a year, and I'm sick of hearing the drone of the washing machine constantly when I'm at home. I've tried to hint that maybe she doesn't need to do everything on the highest settings but seriously, how do you ask someone to do less washing?" Any hints dearest readers? Let Craig know by leaving him a message here!

Continue reading "Nothing like a good wash!" »

June 14, 2006

Don't fall asleep

One of my friends came home after a huge night out and woke up in the morning to find that his flatmate had indeed written his ex's name on his forehead in permanent marker. Does that sound wierd to you? It shouldn't cause in my most recent poll, 9% of you indicated that you would do that to your flatmates. All the results below...



Your flatmate comes home after one too many drinks and falls asleep on the sofa. Do you:

Take a photo and post it up on your blog for all the world to see? ;) = 44%

Help them into bed? = 38%

Shave off their eyebrow? = 9%

Write their name on their forehead? = 9



What's the worst prank that you've inflicted on your flat mate or had inflicted upon you?


Continue reading "Don't fall asleep" »

Don't fall asleep

One of my friends came home after a huge night out and woke up in the morning to find that his flatmate had indeed written his ex's name on his forehead in permanent marker. Does that sound wierd to you? It shouldn't cause in my most recent poll, 9% of you indicated that you would do that to your flatmates. All the results below...

Your flatmate comes home after one too many drinks and falls asleep on the sofa. Do you: Take a photo and post it up on your blog for all the world to see? ;) = 44% Help them into bed? = 38% Shave off their eyebrow? = 9% Write their name on their forehead? = 9

What's the worst prank that you've inflicted on your flat mate or had inflicted upon you?

Continue reading "Don't fall asleep" »

June 11, 2006

Mirror Mirror, on the wall

Who's the vainest of them all? Gareth writes from London that one of his flatmates was a close relative of Narcissus....


"He used to go on a different date every night with people he met from the internet, then after first date thought he was in a relationship, got overly possesive and then go mad at them for whatever reason. He used to tell us every day about how he'd found the one. Total narcicist.   Worst of all he exfoliates and face masks about 3-4 times a day leaving all the residues in the bath, sink, in fact everywhere - then wondered why his skin was so bad!"

Have you ever lived with someone who liked to at themselves more than they should've? Leave me a comment below.

Continue reading "Mirror Mirror, on the wall" »

Mirror Mirror, on the wall

Who's the vainest of them all? Gareth writes from London that one of his flatmates was a close relative of Narcissus....
"He used to go on a different date every night with people he met from the internet, then after first date thought he was in a relationship, got overly possesive and then go mad at them for whatever reason. He used to tell us every day about how he'd found the one. Total narcicist.   Worst of all he exfoliates and face masks about 3-4 times a day leaving all the residues in the bath, sink, in fact everywhere - then wondered why his skin was so bad!" Have you ever lived with someone who liked to at themselves more than they should've? Leave me a comment below.

Continue reading "Mirror Mirror, on the wall" »

Do you attract weirdos?

I'm convinced that after more than a few flatmates over the years that I seem to attract weirdos to live with me. There was the guy who'd play opera arias at all hours of the night, another who thought it was cool to leave his leftovers in the fridge for weeks at a time, and yet another who instead of washing his clothes used to just replace them with new ones and throw the old ones out....


See what I mean about some people attracting weirdos? I now live alone cause I just know that if I try living with someone again, they'll just come out with another weird trait that will drive me nuts. Are you like this? Do you, or have you, attracted weirdos to share your house? Let me know.

Continue reading "Do you attract weirdos?" »

Do you attract weirdos?

I'm convinced that after more than a few flatmates over the years that I seem to attract weirdos to live with me. There was the guy who'd play opera arias at all hours of the night, another who thought it was cool to leave his leftovers in the fridge for weeks at a time, and yet another who instead of washing his clothes used to just replace them with new ones and throw the old ones out....
See what I mean about some people attracting weirdos? I now live alone cause I just know that if I try living with someone again, they'll just come out with another weird trait that will drive me nuts. Are you like this? Do you, or have you, attracted weirdos to share your house? Let me know.

Continue reading "Do you attract weirdos?" »

June 10, 2006

Just what are you doing in there?

Have you ever lived with someone who you rarely see because they always seem to be in their room? Just what is it that they are doing in there? Katie wrote to me and let me know about her flatmate that seems to prefer his room over other parts of the house...


"They used to hide away in their room watching porn all day and night. His room stunk to high heaven, and he only had one set of sheets - so did not change his bedding for the entire year that we lived with him."

Now that's just wrong. Is that what your flatmate gets up to?

Mark writes that his flatmate is "Staying up all night in bed reading the yellow pages". Weirdo!

Are you a bedroom dweller? What do you do in there?

Continue reading "Just what are you doing in there?" »

Just what are you doing in there?

Have you ever lived with someone who you rarely see because they always seem to be in their room? Just what is it that they are doing in there? Katie wrote to me and let me know about her flatmate that seems to prefer his room over other parts of the house...
"They used to hide away in their room watching porn all day and night. His room stunk to high heaven, and he only had one set of sheets - so did not change his bedding for the entire year that we lived with him." Now that's just wrong. Is that what your flatmate gets up to? Mark writes that his flatmate is "Staying up all night in bed reading the yellow pages". Weirdo! Are you a bedroom dweller? What do you do in there?

Continue reading "Just what are you doing in there?" »

June 06, 2006

Crazy flatmate alert!

When a story comes through about a crazy flatmate, it's usually for a litany of weirdness and strange behaviour. Seems that the nutty ones are usually completely pushing the envelope of quirky habits and actions in the house. This story submitted by Sue is another charming example of a flatmate out on the edge....


"I used to live in a house share with 6 great house mates- and one complete nutter! She was a young girl from the Czech republic and when she first moved in we invited her out so we could get to know her. On that night out she was flirting with 2 men who then ended up fighting-much to her delight! She thought it was hilarious and said "I can't help it if God made me beautiful" However, that was nothing. One night she went into one of my housemate's room and showed him that she'd cut her wrists. Panic striken he tried to help her and calm her down. However, the wrist cutting became a regular occurence: about once a week.

That was as well as making herself sick after every meal and leaving it in the pan for us to see. It was bad enough that she stole my food, but puking it out 10 minutes later was not just theft but wasteful! Oh, and leaving her used sanny towels on the floor instead of putting them in the bin was another of her charming habits.

Once when I caught her red handed stealing my food I confronted her about it. Instead of apologising or offering to replace it she stood in the doorway screaming. When I ignored her she went into her room and just screamed and screamed for about 15 mins. I eventually moved out cos I got my own place but the fella who took over my room was less tolerant and got the landlord to kick her out. She's still out there somewhere in south Liverpool. Beware!"

Now doesn't she sound like someone you'd like to live with? NOT!!!!!! Thanks for the story Sue!

Continue reading "Crazy flatmate alert!" »

Crazy flatmate alert!

When a story comes through about a crazy flatmate, it's usually for a litany of weirdness and strange behaviour. Seems that the nutty ones are usually completely pushing the envelope of quirky habits and actions in the house. This story submitted by Sue is another charming example of a flatmate out on the edge....
"I used to live in a house share with 6 great house mates- and one complete nutter! She was a young girl from the Czech republic and when she first moved in we invited her out so we could get to know her. On that night out she was flirting with 2 men who then ended up fighting-much to her delight! She thought it was hilarious and said "I can't help it if God made me beautiful" However, that was nothing. One night she went into one of my housemate's room and showed him that she'd cut her wrists. Panic striken he tried to help her and calm her down. However, the wrist cutting became a regular occurence: about once a week. That was as well as making herself sick after every meal and leaving it in the pan for us to see. It was bad enough that she stole my food, but puking it out 10 minutes later was not just theft but wasteful! Oh, and leaving her used sanny towels on the floor instead of putting them in the bin was another of her charming habits. Once when I caught her red handed stealing my food I confronted her about it. Instead of apologising or offering to replace it she stood in the doorway screaming. When I ignored her she went into her room and just screamed and screamed for about 15 mins. I eventually moved out cos I got my own place but the fella who took over my room was less tolerant and got the landlord to kick her out. She's still out there somewhere in south Liverpool. Beware!" Now doesn't she sound like someone you'd like to live with? NOT!!!!!! Thanks for the story Sue!

Continue reading "Crazy flatmate alert!" »

May 26, 2006

Tea Bag Trauma

I hate cleaning up after other people and so this story sent in from Nina really hit a nerve with me...


"I shared a house with this Irish bloke once. He drank copious amounts of tea (usually mine) and instead of throwing the tea bags in the bin he'd either leave them in the cup or on the kitchen bench or where ever he had his cuppa. Is anyone aware of how gross it is to have to fish out a used tea bag out of someone elses cup after its been left there a few days? sometimes Id go on strike and refuse to clean up but ended up doing so because I couldnt bear it. It was annoying too that when friends dropped over and I went to offer a cup of tea Id find all my teabags used and not replaced and no clean cups to serve them in.

One time this guy 'offered' to make me a cup of tea and went into the kitchen to do so only to come back out about a minute later and say " I would but we're out of cups" meaning that because I hadnt cleaned up after him again he couldnt bring himself to rinse a couple of tea cups as a 'favour' to me He was also always crying poor when it came to rent/bill day only to be caught drinking pints of guiness down the pub all night. We tried to throw him out but he refused to leave even though he was not on the lease contract. We ended up having to pay him to go. has anyone heard the saying 'have you ever given someone money only to never hear from them again? well it was probably worth it' "

Got an annoying trait like that or live with someone who does? Share your story with the world :)

Continue reading "Tea Bag Trauma" »

Tea Bag Trauma

I hate cleaning up after other people and so this story sent in from Nina really hit a nerve with me...
"I shared a house with this Irish bloke once. He drank copious amounts of tea (usually mine) and instead of throwing the tea bags in the bin he'd either leave them in the cup or on the kitchen bench or where ever he had his cuppa. Is anyone aware of how gross it is to have to fish out a used tea bag out of someone elses cup after its been left there a few days? sometimes Id go on strike and refuse to clean up but ended up doing so because I couldnt bear it. It was annoying too that when friends dropped over and I went to offer a cup of tea Id find all my teabags used and not replaced and no clean cups to serve them in. One time this guy 'offered' to make me a cup of tea and went into the kitchen to do so only to come back out about a minute later and say " I would but we're out of cups" meaning that because I hadnt cleaned up after him again he couldnt bring himself to rinse a couple of tea cups as a 'favour' to me He was also always crying poor when it came to rent/bill day only to be caught drinking pints of guiness down the pub all night. We tried to throw him out but he refused to leave even though he was not on the lease contract. We ended up having to pay him to go. has anyone heard the saying 'have you ever given someone money only to never hear from them again? well it was probably worth it' " Got an annoying trait like that or live with someone who does? Share your story with the world :)

Continue reading "Tea Bag Trauma" »

May 24, 2006

Pretty & Messy Vs Ugly & Clean

I've been thinking of how we choose our flatmates and what importance we place on looks versus cleanliness. I was going to run a poll but I'd rather hear what you guys think about it with comments....


Like, I mean, would you rather live with someone who isn't so pretty to look at but who kept the house spotlessly clean. Or would you prefer to have some serious eye-candy even if they left a trail of mess within the house?

Personally, I know I've gone for looks more than I should've in the past and it hasn't worked out so well, eventually they weren't so pretty at 7am standing in a huge mess that they created but that I knew they'd never clean up.

Sigh. What do you think?

Continue reading "Pretty & Messy Vs Ugly & Clean" »

Pretty & Messy Vs Ugly & Clean

I've been thinking of how we choose our flatmates and what importance we place on looks versus cleanliness. I was going to run a poll but I'd rather hear what you guys think about it with comments....
Like, I mean, would you rather live with someone who isn't so pretty to look at but who kept the house spotlessly clean. Or would you prefer to have some serious eye-candy even if they left a trail of mess within the house? Personally, I know I've gone for looks more than I should've in the past and it hasn't worked out so well, eventually they weren't so pretty at 7am standing in a huge mess that they created but that I knew they'd never clean up. Sigh. What do you think?

Continue reading "Pretty & Messy Vs Ugly & Clean" »

May 23, 2006

Warning! Spew story

An anonymous poster sent in this story of a wild house party that had lots of cute girls, lots of booze, and lots of cleaning to do afterwards....


"We had a massive party one night courtesy of the Brisbane Sharehouse Network. Anyways, my housemate invited her petite little 'bacardi breezer' friends who nailed away a sh*t load of vodka each. One of them got so smashed she had to go pray to the porcelin gods. F*ckin TURN IT UP....That little whore blew chunks all over the back of the toilet wall and the side wall.... I dont actually think any spew went in the toilet. Then, one of my mates "fell asleep" on the lounge room floor while everyone else just walked over him... I woke up the next morning and the bastard spewed his dinner up on the beige carpet - which appeared to be a pretty tomatoey spag bol.....Scum bag! hahaha it was pretty hard to clean and ended up staining the carpet a weird orange colour...mmmm Thanks Des...."

If there is one thing I hate more than anything else, it's having to clean up someone else's spew. Got a good flatmate spew story you wanna share? Send it in or leave a comment below.

Continue reading "Warning! Spew story" »

Warning! Spew story

An anonymous poster sent in this story of a wild house party that had lots of cute girls, lots of booze, and lots of cleaning to do afterwards....
"We had a massive party one night courtesy of the Brisbane Sharehouse Network. Anyways, my housemate invited her petite little 'bacardi breezer' friends who nailed away a sh*t load of vodka each. One of them got so smashed she had to go pray to the porcelin gods. F*ckin TURN IT UP....That little whore blew chunks all over the back of the toilet wall and the side wall.... I dont actually think any spew went in the toilet. Then, one of my mates "fell asleep" on the lounge room floor while everyone else just walked over him... I woke up the next morning and the bastard spewed his dinner up on the beige carpet - which appeared to be a pretty tomatoey spag bol.....Scum bag! hahaha it was pretty hard to clean and ended up staining the carpet a weird orange colour...mmmm Thanks Des...." If there is one thing I hate more than anything else, it's having to clean up someone else's spew. Got a good flatmate spew story you wanna share? Send it in or leave a comment below.

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May 21, 2006

A couple more pics for you all!

Messy Room

The picture submissions are a little slow - either you guys all live in pristine homes or none of you know how to work a camera :P I love looking at filth so send me your worst pics!


Here's another couple from Steve...

Utterly trashy Filth

That first pic nearly brough tears to my eyes with the sheer filth of it all.... Can you top that one? Send your pics in!

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A couple more pics for you all!

Messy Room The picture submissions are a little slow - either you guys all live in pristine homes or none of you know how to work a camera :P I love looking at filth so send me your worst pics!
Here's another couple from Steve... Utterly trashy Filth That first pic nearly brough tears to my eyes with the sheer filth of it all.... Can you top that one? Send your pics in!

Continue reading "A couple more pics for you all!" »

Hold the pee!

Lots of things that you guys have sent in have just been unpublishable and have usually involved a bodily function of some sort, like this gross out from Kerrie....


"My flatmate Jesus (no lie) keeps a bottle to pee in by the side of his bed. This is even despite the fact that his bedroom door is less than 1/2 a meter from the bathroom. Oh, and he only empties it when it gets full."

Now thats just disgusting. What would he do if he brought a girl home, or do guys like this never bring girls home? And what about if he accidentally knocks it over, or it overflows? EEeeeewwwwwwwwww.

Continue reading "Hold the pee!" »

Hold the pee!

Lots of things that you guys have sent in have just been unpublishable and have usually involved a bodily function of some sort, like this gross out from Kerrie....
"My flatmate Jesus (no lie) keeps a bottle to pee in by the side of his bed. This is even despite the fact that his bedroom door is less than 1/2 a meter from the bathroom. Oh, and he only empties it when it gets full." Now thats just disgusting. What would he do if he brought a girl home, or do guys like this never bring girls home? And what about if he accidentally knocks it over, or it overflows? EEeeeewwwwwwwwww.

Continue reading "Hold the pee!" »

Are you anally retentive?

And I don't mean do you retain things in your bottom haha! Pebbles writes it's not just the super messy flatmates that are weird - at the other end of the spectrum are the super clean freaks...


"Everyone seem to complain about messy flatmates, try the otherend of the scale - anal to the point of so far up the arse its scary - and not just one but two of them. I share with two girls, over the last year I have learnt there is a correct way to do everything from washing the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher (otherwise the dishwasher gets dirty), then placing them correctly, making sure the toliet roll is never empty - because it has to be me - apparently I'm the only one in the house that shits (could explain thier moods), stove top should always be clean - usually just as you've cooked something & sat down to eat it. Still I'm sure they will get a hot shower the day I move out"

I've made no secret of the fact that as a Virgo I like things to be done a certain way and this all seems normal to me, but the older I get I'm beginning to understand that I may indeed be the freak...

What's better - super messy or super clean? Let me know!

Continue reading "Are you anally retentive?" »

Are you anally retentive?

And I don't mean do you retain things in your bottom haha! Pebbles writes it's not just the super messy flatmates that are weird - at the other end of the spectrum are the super clean freaks...
"Everyone seem to complain about messy flatmates, try the otherend of the scale - anal to the point of so far up the arse its scary - and not just one but two of them. I share with two girls, over the last year I have learnt there is a correct way to do everything from washing the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher (otherwise the dishwasher gets dirty), then placing them correctly, making sure the toliet roll is never empty - because it has to be me - apparently I'm the only one in the house that shits (could explain thier moods), stove top should always be clean - usually just as you've cooked something & sat down to eat it. Still I'm sure they will get a hot shower the day I move out" I've made no secret of the fact that as a Virgo I like things to be done a certain way and this all seems normal to me, but the older I get I'm beginning to understand that I may indeed be the freak... What's better - super messy or super clean? Let me know!

Continue reading "Are you anally retentive?" »

May 20, 2006

Is this the Worst Flatmate ever?

Some of the stories that you guys have sent me have detailed some pretty horrible folks that you've lived with. But this story from Corinne I think is the worst by far....


"Last year, while at university, I lived in an on-campus apartment with 6 other girls. One girl, Lena, had moved in late, and admittedly, didn't fit in. First of all, she was the only black girl and the rest of us were white or latina. Don't get me wrong, none of us were racist... except Lena. When she got pissed off she would refer to us as "white bitches" and would constantly go on about how she didn't like most white people. Apparently, in her mind, racism was okay, provided it was black people hating white people.

But that was only the tip of the iceburg... One of the major problems we had with her was her constant partying. She'd come in drunk and high at all hours, usually having forgotten her door key, so she'd ring the doorbell continuously, or bang on our windows, until one of us let her in. And she’d usually have some noisy, annoying friends in tow. Now, when she first was moving in, she asked how we felt about her smoking weed, and we said it was cool, provided she didn't do it anywhere in the apartment. She adhered to that rule for nearly the entire first semester, then suddenly stopped caring despite us constantly asking her to smoke outside or at a friend’s place.

Furthermore, she said we were infringing on HER RIGHTS by asking her not to perform ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES in the house, which we could ALL get busted for. It stunk up the entire hallway so badly that I'd have to hole up in my room and turn off the heater so the smell wouldn't come in through the vents (the smoke literally made me ill). Her total apathy for our feelings was most apparent the day I walked in on her sorting her weed on the kitchen table. Her substance abuse wasn't just weed, but also drinking.

She'd come in SO drunk that she'd literally get lost on the way to her room... which was the FIRST door in the hallway. Once she threw up in the bathroom SINK and didn't even clean it up until the next day. She also used to dump her dirty bong water in the sink, but not rinse it out. We suggested the toilet because it's easily flush-able, but naturally she didn't listen. Other random atrocities include: blasting her music at ungodly early hours of the morning when the rest of us were sleeping, then getting mad at her roommate for typing at 2:00 in the afternoon while she was trying to nap; leaving empty food wrappers/containers on or even IN the couch or coffee tables for DAYS until someone else cleaned it up; leaving part of a BLUNT in the couch; leaving food out overnight and then getting mad at us for throwing it away; NEVER taking responsibility for cleaning her dishes; not cleaning up after her friends' messes; and a poor sense of personal hygeine.

As in, she once threw up a little on a sweatshirt, and then wore it for the next week without washing it. Not to mention the STENCH that came from her room. It literally smelled of ass, feet, and marijuana. We're also pretty sure she hadn't changed her sheets all year...

And lastly, my favorite story: One day she left her SHOES on the KITCHEN TABLE. Dirty shoes. Where people EAT. So I put them in her room with a note asking her to please not put shoes where we eat. She thought it was one of the other girls, and ripped her a new one, saying to never "disrespect" her stuff by "throwing" it on the floor, and not to touch her stuff ever. There were many other atrocities, but luckily I've blocked them from memory.

The worst part was, try as we might, we couldn't get her kicked out because none of the authorities ever caught her in the act of doing anything. Plus, when they asked us, right in front of her, if we'd ever seen her doing illegal stuff, we said no because she was INCREDIBLY intimidating. She never made a direct threat, but would often mention how she had "beat some bitch's ass" or taken one of our kitchen knives to a fight. Eventually, the hostility rose to such a level that she took the initiative and left. It was about the only mature thing she'd ever done..."

Is this girl the worst of all the flatmates? Does she deserve that title? Let me know below!

Continue reading "Is this the Worst Flatmate ever?" »

Is this the Worst Flatmate ever?

Some of the stories that you guys have sent me have detailed some pretty horrible folks that you've lived with. But this story from Corinne I think is the worst by far....
"Last year, while at university, I lived in an on-campus apartment with 6 other girls. One girl, Lena, had moved in late, and admittedly, didn't fit in. First of all, she was the only black girl and the rest of us were white or latina. Don't get me wrong, none of us were racist... except Lena. When she got pissed off she would refer to us as "white bitches" and would constantly go on about how she didn't like most white people. Apparently, in her mind, racism was okay, provided it was black people hating white people. But that was only the tip of the iceburg... One of the major problems we had with her was her constant partying. She'd come in drunk and high at all hours, usually having forgotten her door key, so she'd ring the doorbell continuously, or bang on our windows, until one of us let her in. And she’d usually have some noisy, annoying friends in tow. Now, when she first was moving in, she asked how we felt about her smoking weed, and we said it was cool, provided she didn't do it anywhere in the apartment. She adhered to that rule for nearly the entire first semester, then suddenly stopped caring despite us constantly asking her to smoke outside or at a friend’s place. Furthermore, she said we were infringing on HER RIGHTS by asking her not to perform ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES in the house, which we could ALL get busted for. It stunk up the entire hallway so badly that I'd have to hole up in my room and turn off the heater so the smell wouldn't come in through the vents (the smoke literally made me ill). Her total apathy for our feelings was most apparent the day I walked in on her sorting her weed on the kitchen table. Her substance abuse wasn't just weed, but also drinking. She'd come in SO drunk that she'd literally get lost on the way to her room... which was the FIRST door in the hallway. Once she threw up in the bathroom SINK and didn't even clean it up until the next day. She also used to dump her dirty bong water in the sink, but not rinse it out. We suggested the toilet because it's easily flush-able, but naturally she didn't listen. Other random atrocities include: blasting her music at ungodly early hours of the morning when the rest of us were sleeping, then getting mad at her roommate for typing at 2:00 in the afternoon while she was trying to nap; leaving empty food wrappers/containers on or even IN the couch or coffee tables for DAYS until someone else cleaned it up; leaving part of a BLUNT in the couch; leaving food out overnight and then getting mad at us for throwing it away; NEVER taking responsibility for cleaning her dishes; not cleaning up after her friends' messes; and a poor sense of personal hygeine. As in, she once threw up a little on a sweatshirt, and then wore it for the next week without washing it. Not to mention the STENCH that came from her room. It literally smelled of ass, feet, and marijuana. We're also pretty sure she hadn't changed her sheets all year... And lastly, my favorite story: One day she left her SHOES on the KITCHEN TABLE. Dirty shoes. Where people EAT. So I put them in her room with a note asking her to please not put shoes where we eat. She thought it was one of the other girls, and ripped her a new one, saying to never "disrespect" her stuff by "throwing" it on the floor, and not to touch her stuff ever. There were many other atrocities, but luckily I've blocked them from memory. The worst part was, try as we might, we couldn't get her kicked out because none of the authorities ever caught her in the act of doing anything. Plus, when they asked us, right in front of her, if we'd ever seen her doing illegal stuff, we said no because she was INCREDIBLY intimidating. She never made a direct threat, but would often mention how she had "beat some bitch's ass" or taken one of our kitchen knives to a fight. Eventually, the hostility rose to such a level that she took the initiative and left. It was about the only mature thing she'd ever done..." Is this girl the worst of all the flatmates? Does she deserve that title? Let me know below!

Continue reading "Is this the Worst Flatmate ever?" »

May 19, 2006

Easy come, easy go...

There is a saying (or variations thereof) that goes: Don't sh*t where you eat. You could apply to this to several situations like sports teams or work (Don't screw the crew or Fishing off the company wharves) but it's particularly apt for flatmates as this story from Andrew demonstrates...


"No pictures, but after reading some of your sorry entries, I have no problem in saying that you guys all had it easy. After my first year at uni, a group of us decided we'd like to live with each other in our "year out " You see, in London, there isn't enough student accommodation to go around, so the uni only offers you 2 years at most.

After having heard horror story after horror story, we carefully selected our friends and managed a good bunch. So, once all 6 of us had moved into a really cool house in north London, we were all happy. Until one was diagnosed with leukemia and had the rest of his life of any work. Our landlord came up with a substitute. A lovely american girl, brunette, sultry, very personable. Too personable as it turns out.

After a week she'd slept with all of us (and kept it secret from all of us). Unfortunately, "woody" as we knew him, had slept with the next door neighbour, who had also slept with the other of the two men I shared the house with. Sadly, he was going out with one of the girls we lived with who had shared her "personal toy" with another of the girls in our house. Trust me, it took a while to get to the bottom of it all.

IÂ personally slept with the third and final person in the house. Really, really fortunately because I haven't always been so insistant, used a condom on my encounter with this girl and so didn't spread it to Cathy, but there was a tense time where we had 2/3 or 4/6 of the house with ghonorreha. Burning pee and all. So, that bitch is safely back in america, that's all I can say."

Hmmmm, seems like there was a lot of bed-hopping going on there Andrew. What was the house like to live in afterwards - did you all distrust each other?

Continue reading "Easy come, easy go..." »

Easy come, easy go...

There is a saying (or variations thereof) that goes: Don't sh*t where you eat. You could apply to this to several situations like sports teams or work (Don't screw the crew or Fishing off the company wharves) but it's particularly apt for flatmates as this story from Andrew demonstrates...
"No pictures, but after reading some of your sorry entries, I have no problem in saying that you guys all had it easy. After my first year at uni, a group of us decided we'd like to live with each other in our "year out " You see, in London, there isn't enough student accommodation to go around, so the uni only offers you 2 years at most. After having heard horror story after horror story, we carefully selected our friends and managed a good bunch. So, once all 6 of us had moved into a really cool house in north London, we were all happy. Until one was diagnosed with leukemia and had the rest of his life of any work. Our landlord came up with a substitute. A lovely american girl, brunette, sultry, very personable. Too personable as it turns out. After a week she'd slept with all of us (and kept it secret from all of us). Unfortunately, "woody" as we knew him, had slept with the next door neighbour, who had also slept with the other of the two men I shared the house with. Sadly, he was going out with one of the girls we lived with who had shared her "personal toy" with another of the girls in our house. Trust me, it took a while to get to the bottom of it all. IÂ personally slept with the third and final person in the house. Really, really fortunately because I haven't always been so insistant, used a condom on my encounter with this girl and so didn't spread it to Cathy, but there was a tense time where we had 2/3 or 4/6 of the house with ghonorreha. Burning pee and all. So, that bitch is safely back in america, that's all I can say." Hmmmm, seems like there was a lot of bed-hopping going on there Andrew. What was the house like to live in afterwards - did you all distrust each other?

Continue reading "Easy come, easy go..." »

Flatmates should look after each other

When you live with people you like, it can just be so great. One of the best things is that you look out for each other, especially after a big night out, or in...


Q just left me this comment which isn't so much weird as it is lovely - and I thought it was a nice change for the site...

"In my younger years when I was flatting, My great, best flatmate in the world and I had a rule. when going out, and then on returning later with or without a gaggle of friends in tow, we would call to warn them. Just incase they had passed out with their wangs or muffs exposed. Just common courtesy when sharing an envoriment. "

Hahaha, now where were you Q in my flat sharing days? I only ever got caught out once but there was a few red faces when it happened.

Continue reading "Flatmates should look after each other" »

Flatmates should look after each other

When you live with people you like, it can just be so great. One of the best things is that you look out for each other, especially after a big night out, or in...
Q just left me this comment which isn't so much weird as it is lovely - and I thought it was a nice change for the site... "In my younger years when I was flatting, My great, best flatmate in the world and I had a rule. when going out, and then on returning later with or without a gaggle of friends in tow, we would call to warn them. Just incase they had passed out with their wangs or muffs exposed. Just common courtesy when sharing an envoriment. " Hahaha, now where were you Q in my flat sharing days? I only ever got caught out once but there was a few red faces when it happened.

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May 18, 2006

Sounds like a Virgo to me....

I'm a Virgo. I live on my own because, well, other people tend to sh*t me up the wall when I have to share a house with them. I like things to be done a certain way. Does that make me weird? Nina certainly thinks so...


"There is another type of bad house mate, one that is often overlooked. That is the anal ‘obssesive disorder type. The type that is both the martyr and the facist. They assume they are the only one’s in the household that ever does anything the right way. the sort of person that aggravates the household because nothing is ever up to their standards. Like the mother in law who inspects the house with a white glove to check for dust.

I think house sharing is a contradiction in terms btw. unless people are prepared to be a bit more flexible in their attitudes they should go and live alone."

Point taken Nina, and just so you know, my friends have threatened to disown me if I ever move in with someone again so you're all safe for now haha!

Continue reading "Sounds like a Virgo to me...." »

Sounds like a Virgo to me....

I'm a Virgo. I live on my own because, well, other people tend to sh*t me up the wall when I have to share a house with them. I like things to be done a certain way. Does that make me weird? Nina certainly thinks so...
"There is another type of bad house mate, one that is often overlooked. That is the anal ‘obssesive disorder type. The type that is both the martyr and the facist. They assume they are the only one’s in the household that ever does anything the right way. the sort of person that aggravates the household because nothing is ever up to their standards. Like the mother in law who inspects the house with a white glove to check for dust. I think house sharing is a contradiction in terms btw. unless people are prepared to be a bit more flexible in their attitudes they should go and live alone." Point taken Nina, and just so you know, my friends have threatened to disown me if I ever move in with someone again so you're all safe for now haha!

Continue reading "Sounds like a Virgo to me...." »