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July 07, 2006

The Phantom Poo too

One of the most popular and talked about stories I've ever posted on here involved the appearance of a poo during a party that no-one would take responsibility for. The dumper was eventually found and ridiculed, as they should be. Chuck has been good enough to send me another version of the Phantom Poo....
"A similiar thing happened to me, out for work, all 15 of us staying in one room in sleeping bags, with little room to move, at the pub the night before(yes, good job I know), and lo and behold, in the morning, dead centre middle of the room, not 5cm from and in the middle of two peoples sleeping bags is a little pile of brown caviar. Nobody owned up to it, but we had our suspicions who did the phantom poo. the funnier part was that it was definetely one of the people in that room, whoever it was didnt remember it, nobody smelled it, or saw it, till the morning. like I said, phantom poo. Oh yeah, and another time, a couple of years back, big share house with a bunch of friends, one of the guys did not take the right turn to the toilet, but the left turn to the showers. One of the guys had fun using the fire hose to try and disintegrate the offender down the drain. needless to say, he was the only one using that shower for a while." Gross! People who leave a phantom poo are messed up in the head I reckon - what do you think?

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June 24, 2006

Stuff you don't want to hear about...

Often when you share what is usually a reasonably intimate space with others, you end up seeing and hearing stuff that you maybe wish that you didn't. I've written before about the noises you can hear through walls, but what about what you can hear through the floor?
Paul left a tonne of comments overnight including this one that I thought was worth of his own post... "Ha my old flatty muzz used to live directly above me ,thin floor syndrome.His sexual exploits were very audible, all 2 minutes a night, only to tell me how hed made her come several times.sheesh, never had the nerve to tell him i knew different.What sort of wanker tells ya how many times he made her come, as if to to garner some false sense of machoism.Can any one tell me how guys like that hook up with hotties like her and manage to keep them?" i dunno Paul, I dunno. It's one of life's little mysteries I guess. Anyone out there got any ideas? Let me know!

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June 14, 2006

Don't fall asleep

One of my friends came home after a huge night out and woke up in the morning to find that his flatmate had indeed written his ex's name on his forehead in permanent marker. Does that sound wierd to you? It shouldn't cause in my most recent poll, 9% of you indicated that you would do that to your flatmates. All the results below...



Your flatmate comes home after one too many drinks and falls asleep on the sofa. Do you:

Take a photo and post it up on your blog for all the world to see? ;) = 44%

Help them into bed? = 38%

Shave off their eyebrow? = 9%

Write their name on their forehead? = 9



What's the worst prank that you've inflicted on your flat mate or had inflicted upon you?


Continue reading "Don't fall asleep" »

Don't fall asleep

One of my friends came home after a huge night out and woke up in the morning to find that his flatmate had indeed written his ex's name on his forehead in permanent marker. Does that sound wierd to you? It shouldn't cause in my most recent poll, 9% of you indicated that you would do that to your flatmates. All the results below...

Your flatmate comes home after one too many drinks and falls asleep on the sofa. Do you: Take a photo and post it up on your blog for all the world to see? ;) = 44% Help them into bed? = 38% Shave off their eyebrow? = 9% Write their name on their forehead? = 9

What's the worst prank that you've inflicted on your flat mate or had inflicted upon you?

Continue reading "Don't fall asleep" »

June 09, 2006

The Perfect Home

If you are looking for somewhere new to live in the UK, then you should definitely check out my sponsor, propertyfinder.com. They've recently launched a fun new TV advert featuring 'Afro Man' that shows that no matter who you are or what your needs are, they'll have the perfect property for you. Haven't seen the ad? Check it out online...


Click here to see the 'Afro Man' ad!

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The Perfect Home

If you are looking for somewhere new to live in the UK, then you should definitely check out my sponsor, propertyfinder.com. They've recently launched a fun new TV advert featuring 'Afro Man' that shows that no matter who you are or what your needs are, they'll have the perfect property for you. Haven't seen the ad? Check it out online...
Click here to see the 'Afro Man' ad!

Continue reading "The Perfect Home" »

June 01, 2006

Banging the drum

One of my regular readers, Nina, has sent in another story about someone she once lived with who had a passion for playing the drums....


"I shared a house one time with a close family friend. A lovely bloke and we are still friends. This one story I thought Id share because it always makes me laugh when I remember it. He was/is a keen drummer. He even had his drumkit in his upstaris bedroom at the house. We had a rule which he abided by that out of respect for us and the neighbours he only practised at certain times of the day.

We were down the Pub one night playing pool. We got talking with the people who we were playing and it turned out that one of the guys was a new tenant in the house next door to us. I asked him if we made any noise that bothered them. He said we were generally fine exept for one night when someone was playing the drums at about 5 in the morning. I knew my housemate never played at that time of the a.m and we had to think for a while what the noise might have been. It was then that we recalled.

He had been out on the turps that night till very late. Another friend of ours had turned up about half an hour later to see us. My housemate had just got in himself and crashed out. his friend was trying to get him out of bed so they could go on some road trip they had planed (thats why he turned up so early in the morning)which my flatmate had forgotten about. Anyway my housemate comes out of his room at the top of the stairs to see our guest. He was wrapped up in his quilt.

His foot slipped on the quilt and he went tumbling down the steep staircase hitting every step on the way down then crashing into the wheel of my pushbike which was parked at the bottom of the stairs. It sounded like a drum roll and a symbol crash. We often teased him later that it was the best beat he'd come up with! It solved the mystery of the phantom drums at 5 am too."

I'm not sure I'd be able to share with someone who was musically inclined.....I have enough trouble with the people at work that like to sing and whistle their way through the day - arrrgghh!!!

Continue reading "Banging the drum" »

Banging the drum

One of my regular readers, Nina, has sent in another story about someone she once lived with who had a passion for playing the drums....
"I shared a house one time with a close family friend. A lovely bloke and we are still friends. This one story I thought Id share because it always makes me laugh when I remember it. He was/is a keen drummer. He even had his drumkit in his upstaris bedroom at the house. We had a rule which he abided by that out of respect for us and the neighbours he only practised at certain times of the day. We were down the Pub one night playing pool. We got talking with the people who we were playing and it turned out that one of the guys was a new tenant in the house next door to us. I asked him if we made any noise that bothered them. He said we were generally fine exept for one night when someone was playing the drums at about 5 in the morning. I knew my housemate never played at that time of the a.m and we had to think for a while what the noise might have been. It was then that we recalled. He had been out on the turps that night till very late. Another friend of ours had turned up about half an hour later to see us. My housemate had just got in himself and crashed out. his friend was trying to get him out of bed so they could go on some road trip they had planed (thats why he turned up so early in the morning)which my flatmate had forgotten about. Anyway my housemate comes out of his room at the top of the stairs to see our guest. He was wrapped up in his quilt. His foot slipped on the quilt and he went tumbling down the steep staircase hitting every step on the way down then crashing into the wheel of my pushbike which was parked at the bottom of the stairs. It sounded like a drum roll and a symbol crash. We often teased him later that it was the best beat he'd come up with! It solved the mystery of the phantom drums at 5 am too." I'm not sure I'd be able to share with someone who was musically inclined.....I have enough trouble with the people at work that like to sing and whistle their way through the day - arrrgghh!!!

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May 12, 2006

"How did you get in?"

For most people, our homes are our sanctuaries. The place we go to get away from it all. So what happens when your home becomes a hell-hole, inhabited by slobs and strangers?


Michele submitted this long story that like some of the others leaves me lost for words...

"Okay. So you think you have heard it all? no way. I lived with a guy who I met through a mutual friend. I couldnt afford a flat of my own so I needed a roomate in a matter of days. He seemed nice enough & we both acknowledged that we werent attracted to the other. He was a drummer & I was an art student. That was where all the normal facts end.

After living with him about a week, he began his daily ritual of plopping his fat bottom in front of the ice box, so when I came home and walked in the door, all I saw was the door with this fat bottom sticking out from behind it and a pair of beady eyes peering over the top to see who had come in. As he shut the door, I saw the noodles of my Take Out leftovers hannging out of his mouth and his left hand reaching in the white carton to get more. NO FORK. JUST HANDS. He proceeded to attempt to offer me some which I of course refused.

He was Jewish and I was Buddhist/Vegan. So most of the time our dishes being exchanged wasnt a problem, but I came down the stairs one morning to an empty house and a full sink, riddled with some ceremonial fish that had been left there since the night before. The stench was repulsive.

When I had people over, you can forget intimacy. We lived in a three story house, of which his was the 2nd floor and mine was the top. There was no reason for him to come upstairs, yet every evening, after my shower, I would hear his plodding steps coming toward my bedroom (and the door being broken meant I couldnt close it. I yelled, "what do you want" before he barged in. He said "Oh, I didn't know you were home".

Other occasions I would be sleeping (mind you, Im 19 sleeping in next to nothing because its hot on the top floor) with or without a handsome guest, he would inevitably end up in my room staring at my bottom for some strange 10 minutes.

Oh! And he NEVER wore more than an undersized pair of shorts & tube socks! It was HYSTERICAL to me because he had this Austin Powers type patch of hair on his chest and for better lack of a word, man-boobs. The most hysterical thing you have ever seen.

What made me leave was coming home to an empty flat with the door being open. I thought I had been robbed. I tiptoed inside with my cellular phone in hand. The window had been broken. The house was messy, and I heard footsteps upstairs. I panicked and just as I was about to dial the police his best friend comes parading down the stairs in my underwear. He's smiling and dancing and I want to kill him for scaring me. Then I figure out that he hasnt been let in.

"How did you get in here?" I asked? He replied "Well since we knocked a long time and no one answered, we broke the window and just came in". I looked over by the window to see that the stereo beneath it had been broken by their landing. I packed up and left. From him to his friends it was enough."

Continue reading ""How did you get in?"" »

"How did you get in?"

For most people, our homes are our sanctuaries. The place we go to get away from it all. So what happens when your home becomes a hell-hole, inhabited by slobs and strangers?
Michele submitted this long story that like some of the others leaves me lost for words... "Okay. So you think you have heard it all? no way. I lived with a guy who I met through a mutual friend. I couldnt afford a flat of my own so I needed a roomate in a matter of days. He seemed nice enough & we both acknowledged that we werent attracted to the other. He was a drummer & I was an art student. That was where all the normal facts end. After living with him about a week, he began his daily ritual of plopping his fat bottom in front of the ice box, so when I came home and walked in the door, all I saw was the door with this fat bottom sticking out from behind it and a pair of beady eyes peering over the top to see who had come in. As he shut the door, I saw the noodles of my Take Out leftovers hannging out of his mouth and his left hand reaching in the white carton to get more. NO FORK. JUST HANDS. He proceeded to attempt to offer me some which I of course refused. He was Jewish and I was Buddhist/Vegan. So most of the time our dishes being exchanged wasnt a problem, but I came down the stairs one morning to an empty house and a full sink, riddled with some ceremonial fish that had been left there since the night before. The stench was repulsive. When I had people over, you can forget intimacy. We lived in a three story house, of which his was the 2nd floor and mine was the top. There was no reason for him to come upstairs, yet every evening, after my shower, I would hear his plodding steps coming toward my bedroom (and the door being broken meant I couldnt close it. I yelled, "what do you want" before he barged in. He said "Oh, I didn't know you were home". Other occasions I would be sleeping (mind you, Im 19 sleeping in next to nothing because its hot on the top floor) with or without a handsome guest, he would inevitably end up in my room staring at my bottom for some strange 10 minutes. Oh! And he NEVER wore more than an undersized pair of shorts & tube socks! It was HYSTERICAL to me because he had this Austin Powers type patch of hair on his chest and for better lack of a word, man-boobs. The most hysterical thing you have ever seen. What made me leave was coming home to an empty flat with the door being open. I thought I had been robbed. I tiptoed inside with my cellular phone in hand. The window had been broken. The house was messy, and I heard footsteps upstairs. I panicked and just as I was about to dial the police his best friend comes parading down the stairs in my underwear. He's smiling and dancing and I want to kill him for scaring me. Then I figure out that he hasnt been let in. "How did you get in here?" I asked? He replied "Well since we knocked a long time and no one answered, we broke the window and just came in". I looked over by the window to see that the stereo beneath it had been broken by their landing. I packed up and left. From him to his friends it was enough."

Continue reading ""How did you get in?"" »